Fights broke out today in New Hampshire between anti-Marco Rubio robots and pro-Rubio humans. It could not yet be confirmed whether the robot uprising has begun, but someone needs to tell that woman that you can’t strangle a robot. It only makes them stronger.
It’s believed that the robots oppose Marco Rubio because the Florida Senator has been posing as a robot in recent debates and Republican primary rallies. Rubio, an alleged human, has been seen as pandering to the robot community in an attempt to secure the robot voting bloc in the Granite State.
All varieties of robots have been spotted in New Hampshire of late, including the gray-kinda-looks-like-a-bondage-outfit model and the cardboard-robot-with-a-colander-for-a-hat model. Today’s scuffle sent the latter falling to the ground.
Rumors that Rubio is at least 1/16th robot on his mother’s side could not be confirmed, though the robot community has reportedly denied that Rubio has any claim to robot ancestry. The Rubio campaign has yet to release the long form version of his manufacturing certificate, an equivalent to the human birth certificate.
Marco Rubio has not posed for a photo-op with the robots in New Hampshire, though he has been chased by them.
We’ll update this post with any news about a potential robot uprising in New Hampshire as it develops.
Update, 3:58pm EST: Here’s video of the robot wrestling match from earlier today:
(Photos by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)