Apple CYOA

Apple CYOA: Page 55

Apple engineers are ready to release OS XI, but they need to come up with a theme for each point release, similar to the “big cats” motif of OS X. You choose… • Housecats. Turn to page 75. •: To steal Windows 7’s source code instead and release it to and see if fans will…

Tech News Jason Chen

Apple CYOA: Page 61

Bullets only make Steve Ballmer angrier. Turn to page 20.

Tech News Jason Chen

Apple CYOA: Page 64

The Sony laptop battery explodes in a surprisingly large detonation, which creates a pit in the ground underneath you and the attackers. You barely manage to avoid falling in and get away before the police show up. Narrowly escaping with your life has made you decide to give up your mantle and go back to…

Tech News Jason Chen

Apple CYOA: Page 69

As a result of your John Mayer love, he wins every single category in the 2011 Grammys, including newly-introduced awards such as “Best single by John Mayer”, “Album most likely made by John Mayer”, “Best Latino Female artist” and surprisingly, “Best music video not starring John Mayer.” You receive half your share of his profits,…

Tech News Jason Chen

Apple CYOA: Page 74

Steve Jobs wags his finger at you in great disappointment. “I still have stock in this company, asshole,” he exclaims. “How dare you give away free money. And don’t think I don’t have any pull left.” Things don’t look good for you, the now-interim CEO of Apple. You have one last chance to make things…

Tech News Jason Chen

Apple CYOA: Page 75

Sales plummet as dog owners switch to Ubuntu or Windows 7, and cat owners are embarrassed to be seen buying OS XI Scottish Fold. The situation is made worse by the fact that all the icons on the Dock are replaced with pictures of cats, and the “Welcome” intro movie is a fifteen minute home…

Tech News Jason Chen

Apple CYOA: Page 77

The time travel worked, but not in the way you anticipated. Instead of sending your whole body back in time, the iTime has implanted your consciousness into the mind of Steve Jobs. You are now Steve Jobs. For the next 30 years, you try to reenact Jobs’ life as best you could from what little…

Tech News Jason Chen

Apple CYOA: Page 80

Portable, convenient and deadly; the iPod Shuffles make quick work of the muggers. As in, they’re dead, and now you’re a murderer. You flee the country with $25,000,000 in cash and whatever office supplies you could fit into your pockets. You manage to eek out a living serving as CEO of a small Chinese electronics…

Tech News Jason Chen

Apple CYOA: Page 86

To try and boost the stock, you need to choose one of your many products to reveal for Christmas 2009. You choose to release… • A touchscreen MacBook with free unlimited 3G connectivity. Turn to page 7. • An iPod Nano in thirty-seven new colors, including blue green, blue-ish green, maroon and chartreuse. Turn to…

Tech News Jason Chen

Apple CYOA: Page 87

Angry stockholders chase you out of 1 Infinite Loop, where you’ve just resigned in shame. On your way home, you fall into a pit and die. THE END Back to the start? Image credit kingburgundy

Tech News Jason Chen

Apple CYOA: Page 88

You fall into a pit and die. THE END. Back to the start? Image credit kingburgundy

Tech News Jason Chen

Apple CYOA: Page 89

You fall into a pit and miraculously live! Unfortunately, Steve Ballmer also falls into the pit after you. The impact knocks you unconscious, but by some act of God, you’re still alive (apparently Ballmer is not hungry). As you grasp desperately at the last meager strands of life, a shark comes and eats you both.…

Tech News Jason Chen

Apple CYOA: Page 2030

After branching out from consumer electronics to artificial intelligence and human-machine-interactions, Apple became a mainstay in the military industrial complex in the year 2023. Starting in the year 2030, US soldiers wear Apple-branded robo-suits designed to protect, insulate, regulate and reward them on the field. All goes well until the enemy realizes that the glowing…

Tech News Jason Chen

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