Aka it won’t be like this. But enjoy this gif.
Gif: The Slow Mo Guys

Last week at CES 2020, whilst surveying the state of sex tech at the show, I stumbled upon a humble wearable prototype for premature ejaculation. The ‘device’ was the brainchild of Morari Medical, and I maturely dubbed it the taint band-aid in a write-up. CES has since ended, but lo, this morning I opened up my inbox to see an email from the taint band-aid’s CEO and Founder Jeff Bennett.

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In it, Bennett answered one crucial question we had with regard to the taint band-aid. What would ripping it off feel like? It is, after all, a sensitive and hairy area. When I showed my partner a picture of the taint band-aid, he recoiled in fear. That fear, Bennett says, is unnecessary.

“With regards to our product, while I can understand someone’s initial reaction of the pain associated with removing a band-aid, our product used a novel gel material that doesn’t hurt or pull out hair upon removal,” Bennett told Gizmodo via email. “This has been validated in the feedback we have had from those that have tried the device in a comfort and fit test as no one reported any discomfort in removing it.”

Huzzah! In my defense, when I saw the taint band-aid at CES, it was a band-aid attached to a Ken Doll mannequin’s taint with a bit of gaffer tape. It is nice, however, to hear Morari Medical has thought about not further traumatizing penis-havers with an already difficult-to-talk-about condition. That said, unless we procure one for ourselves, slap it onto one brave soul’s taint, and then quickly rip it off, it’s hard to know for sure. And, until Morari Medical produces a device for review, with accompanying clinical studies, we won’t know if the taint bandage actually works. Perhaps a thing to follow up on at next year’s CES, provided the CTA isn’t a bunch of repressed puritans and lets sex tech companies back onto the floor.

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Consumer tech reporter by day, danger noodle by night. No, I'm not the K-Pop star.

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