The 50 Million Dollar Dame. Episode 2.

This week's show opens at a funeral; apparently Will didn't survive the shooting. Which immediately leads me to wonder: if the Berkut Group (a private, clandestine group dedicated to stopping rogue organizations from ending civilization as we know it) has all this Bionic technology, why didn't they apply it to Will? Of course, with Will out of the way, Jamie's free to wander through his apartment, smelling his clothes and discovering the dossier he's been keeping on her for two years.

More importantly, The Bionic Woman is about Jamie's hot-rodded female body—there's no room for a male cyborg. Jamie is spied upon by uber-daddy Jonas Bledsoe, who steps in when she's about to have hot bathroom sex with Mr. Right Now. When Jamie complains, Bledsoe informs her that "those legs, that arm, that ear and that eye belong to me." She is a very expensive possession, a trophy wife in the way no male bot could ever be. Jamie's body is no longer her own—she belongs to the Berkut Group. Similarly, in a moment of post-coital truth telling, original bionic woman Sarah Corviss tells Jay, "I think someone hacked me," when he asks why she killed 14 agents. No matter how much power Sarah and Jamie pack, they are ultimately at the mercy of higher, most likely male, forces. Besides, watching two fembots fight = hot, which is probably why last week's footage of Sarah and Jamie is recycled. We also get to see Jamie fight a Bad Guy. She knocks him out—but ultimately must be rescued by her supervisor, Antonio.


The episode's big moment comes when Jamie, after saving a woman from committing suicide, realizes she needs a Larger Purpose in life. She tells Bledsoe she'll help save civilization as we know it, but she has to be home by 7:00 every night, can't work weekends, and needs Becca added to the company health plan. If you need any further evidence that this show is indeed a fantasy, Jamie's new boss agrees to her demands without blinking an eye.

Being possessed/getting saved by men and trying to be a good mom to her annoying little sister prove that despite the ability to run 60 mph or more, shatter brick with her arm, and bend steel with her grip, Jamie is really just a girl at heart. After all, she only breaks Mr. Right Now's rib by mistake. And her feminine nature means she loves gossip—something manly men find annoying. "I'm not a big fan of eavesdroppers," says Bledsoe when he catches Jamie in the act, no doubt forgetting that he's the dope that gave her a bionic ear in the first place.

After doing her bit to save the world (or at least select American cities) from a rogue organization trying to unleash a deadly toxic attack, supermom Jamie makes it to Becca's talent show on time, where little sis is performing a number from "Annie Get Your Gun." Which number remains unknown, as NBC in its marketing wisdom plays another song over the scene. Nevertheless, all is comfy and cozy heading into next week.