The Better Marriage Blanket Dampens Farts to Save Lives Relationships

Is flatulence ruining your love life? My friends, look no further than the Better Marriage Blanket, a fart-absorbing wünderspread that means you'll never again have to blame it on the dog. This is a real thing!


Remember, it's got activated carbon fabric: "the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons." You know, in case you're tooting mustard gas. [NextRound]

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If your significant other cannot stand your gas, then it was never meant to be.