An actual veterinarian reviews the Bowlingual, that device from Japan which purports to decipher your dog’s barking, and concludes (surprise, surprise) that it simply doesn’t work:
The translations went from bad to worse when I tested the apparatus on real- live dogs. I tested it on the home alone function, which records each bout of barking up to 100 for up to 12 hours. I also manually took sequential measurements in the same context. When Zoe performed her daily wild-eyed race to greet the UPS man at the door, her barks were translated as, “I’ve done it good, right?” (happy); “I love to be at your side” (needy); “Why don’t you talk to me?” (sad); among others. I’m sure if Todd, the UPS deliverer, were given a list of things he thought she was saying, those phrases would not be on the list. A more appropriate translation would have been “Red Alert!” “Get off my property” or “I’m going to kick your derriere!” I never saw any of those translations listed in the Bowlingual.
Well, I’m sure the Meowlingual, which does the same thing for cats, is much more accurate.
