The Lorax trailer! What the hell was that?

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We were optimistic when the first trailer for The Lorax popped up (what with the heartstring yanking tunes from The Polyphonic Spree and the decidedly Seussian village). But the latest trailer is simply the last straw.

This longer look at the adapted classic has "lifted away" any sort of morality or mood from the original book and replaced it with silly-looking CG villains. What happened to the hair-raising Suessian phrases about the Once-ler and his Whisper-ma-Phone which comes down "though a snergelly hose, and he sounds as if he had smallish bees up his nose." Instead we get Taylor Swift and Zac Efron's hot teen romance vomit. Save the Truffula Trees, they'll get you laid!

We understand you have to fill out the story in order to turn it into a movie, but swapping The Lorax's earnest pleadings with Danny DeVito's gruff jokes almost strips this tale of all its humanity. The point is, you have to listen, you have to CARE! "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing's going to get better. It's not." We don't need a wise-cracking Lorax. And who the hell are all these new villains? Oh dear, dear, dear, dear, dear.


Here's the official run-down:

The 3D-CGI feature Dr. Seuss' The Lorax is an adaptation of Dr. Seuss' classic tale of a forest creature who shares the enduring power of hope. The animated adventure follows the journey of a boy as he searches for the one thing that will enable him to win the affection of the girl of his dreams. To find it he must discover the story of the Lorax, the grumpy yet charming creature who fights to protect his world. Danny DeVito will lend his vocal talents to the iconic title character of the Lorax, while Ed Helms will voice the enigmatic Once-ler. Also bringing their talents to the film are global superstars Zac Efron as Ted, the idealistic young boy who searches for the Lorax, and Taylor Swift as Audrey, the girl of Ted's dreams. Rob Riggle will play financial king O'Hare, and beloved actress Betty White will portray Ted's wise Grammy Norma.


The Lorax will hit theaters (in 3D, no less) on March 2, 2012.