The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Prime Day

Illustration for article titled The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Prime Day

All week, Amazon promoted its Prime Day sale as a “bigger than Black Friday” shopping bonanza. But today, a lot of the discounts look like they fell off a truck headed to a poorly regulated flea market for sad people held in a dumpster.

Advertisement

Here are some of the turkeys of Prime Day:

“Lighter Bro” Lighter Sleeve

Illustration for article titled The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Prime Day
Advertisement

In case you’ve ever wanted your lighter to be a pocket knife to be a quick way for people to decide not to sleep with you

A Half Dollar for $70

Illustration for article titled The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Prime Day

In what world is buying something for literally 140 times its value as legal tender a “deal”

Ted Movie Talking 8 Inch “Ted” Bear (Rated R)

Illustration for article titled The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Prime Day
Advertisement

Save $20.99, gain a toy for adult virgins

2-Pack of Balaclava

Illustration for article titled The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Prime Day
Advertisement

Robbercore

Beard Growther (Grow Your Own Beard Fast)

Illustration for article titled The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Prime Day
Advertisement

“Deal is 68% claimed”

Slendertone Replacement Gel Pads for All Slendertone Abdominal Belts

Illustration for article titled The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Prime Day
Advertisement

You know, the worst part of this is it assumes that Prime customers not only own a Slendertone Abdominal Belt but that they still haven’t figured out it’s a scam and are inclined to buy Slenderton Abdominal Belt accoutrements

Adam Sandler 4-Movie Collection

Illustration for article titled The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Prime Day
Advertisement

No Waterboy? Sometimes it’s like, what’s the point?

Solemates High Heeler

Illustration for article titled The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Prime Day
Advertisement

What imagination dreamt up a woman so devoted to high heels that she’ll wear them on grass/cobblestone but also be totally down with putting jackass-ugly clear imitation hooves over them?

The Lord of the Rings: The Motion Picture Trilogy

Illustration for article titled The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Prime Day
Advertisement

Boring, sorry

CPR Call Blocker

Illustration for article titled The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Prime Day
Advertisement

1997 called, it wants its call blocker back, but you missed the call because you bought a call blocker, tragic

Advertisement

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

FadoraNinja
FadoraNinja

As a middle aged male virgin I am insulted you would think I would buy a Ted.