You can do anything at CES, including measuring sperm health.
Photo: Victoria Song (Gizmodo)

For all the cool gadgets that get shown off at CES, there’s also a bunch of things that make even the most jaded tech bloggers squint in a mix of confusion and amused befuddlement. Some of it you’ll find on the main show floor, others you’ll find in the nooks and corners at the Sands Expo and Eureka Park.

Like, who needs an RGB space toilet or a booth where a smart bidet just blasts a constant stream of water at a plexiglass wall? Why are there eye massagers built from hot-plates that burn your eyelashes off? Why are we not questioning why some booths are straight up selling vibrators as face massagers? Does anyone really want a smartphone app that can read and track your sperm count? Should helicopter parents really be buying camera probes to take pictures of their babies’ inner ears? And in 2019, is it really necessary to have a Lamborghini massage chair surrounded by scantily clad booth babes gyrating to heavy metal? What about a personal watercraft shaped like a swordfish?

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The answer to all of these questions is a resounding “no.” But still, the weird, bizarre, and oddly inexplicable gadgets are part of what gives CES its charm. It just wouldn’t be the same show without them. Most of these products won’t ever make it beyond the show floor, so that’s why we’ve decided to showcase them here for posterity.

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Follow along with all of our CES 2019 coverage here.