Tis' the Season for Bad Santa Gadgets

Illustration for article titled Tis' the Season for Bad Santa Gadgets

Sure, for one night a year Santa pulls it together and manages to come across as wholesome and jolly. But what is he up to during the other 364 days? Free time mixed with celebrity and geographic isolation can be a dangerous combination. Unfortunately, it appears to have taken its toll on our fat festive friend —as the following products illustrate.

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Illustration for article titled Tis' the Season for Bad Santa Gadgets
Illustration for article titled Tis' the Season for Bad Santa Gadgets
Illustration for article titled Tis' the Season for Bad Santa Gadgets
Illustration for article titled Tis' the Season for Bad Santa Gadgets
Illustration for article titled Tis' the Season for Bad Santa Gadgets
Illustration for article titled Tis' the Season for Bad Santa Gadgets
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Illustration for article titled Tis' the Season for Bad Santa Gadgets
Illustration for article titled Tis' the Season for Bad Santa Gadgets
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DISCUSSION

nutbastard-old
nutbastard

Crusty, the coke man

Had a big ole pile of blow

He would sniff the snow

Even though he knows

That his profits he'll forgo

Crusty, the coke man

Doesn't even sleep a wink

And if he drinks anything

The cocaethylene

Will make sure his liver shrinks

There must have been some fire in that

Old crack pipe he found.

For when he took a hit of it

He let out an orgasmic sound

Oh Crusty, the coke man

Robbed his mother though she's old

Then he sold her stuff

Just to get the fluff

Hey yo Crusty man you're cold

Crusty the coke man

Was found shot twice in the face

Cuz the mob they won't

Spare a scab that don't

Respect their personal space