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Vampire payback is a bitch

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One of the most twisted things in the early episodes of the Vampire Diaries was the way Damon toyed with the body and mind of Elena's ditzy friend Caroline. So it was nice to see her get some payback.

Oh, and Crackpipe Diaries spoilers ahead!

Too bad Caroline's moment of triumph turned pretty quickly to pathetic-ness. Last night's episode — which was totally awesome, creepy and insane — showed us how Caroline was in danger of repeating poor Vicki Donovan's experiences from season one. And meanwhile, the Shirtless Lockwoods explore their werewolfy homoeroticism by going for lots of jogs and stuff.


The main thing that elevated this episode for me was the fate of Random Speaker Dude, who had a whole epic journey in one episode. When first we meet Random Speaker Dude, he's a nice carnival worker who hits on Bonnie in a very tasteful fashion, and Bonnie takes a liking to him. She asks for his help fixing the karaoke speakers, as a way of getting some more alone time with him — but unfortunately then she inexplicably ditches him.

This leaves RSD at the mercy of Damon, who uses compulsion to make RSD go pick a fight with Tyler Lockwood, to prove that Tyler's a beastie. RSD does this, and actually holds his own quite well against two beasties, but then gets himself knocked out. Later, he's still bleeding from the fight, when the newly vampy Caroline comes across him and smells his blood, and he makes the mistake of being nice to her... which is the end of his story.


Could there possibly be any greater illustration of how vampires fuck everything up? He seemed like quite a nice guy. He might have been good for Bonnie. And now he's roadkill.

Somebody needs to keep a running tally of all the times someone almost kills Damon, but decides not to. I think we're up to at least a dozen now. Last night, it was Bonnie, and then Jeremy. They both had a reasonable shot, and they failed to take it. Not that I don't love Damon, but you have to admit that he's earned death many, many times over by this point — I still don't believe he noticed Jeremy's ring before killing him, last week.


The only other thing that jumps out at me is that Elena tells Stefan (aka Muppet Angel) that none of this is his fault. Which is true, directly. But indirectly, it's all Muppet Angel's fault. Presumably he had good reasons for staying off the grid for 100+ years, and everything that's happened is a result of his choice to go back on the grid — including Katherine showing up again and deciding to fuck with everyone close to him. Stefan has a bunch of targets painted on him, but they end up getting the people around him hurt. So yeah, I blame everything on Muppet Angel, in the end.