Weirdest, Wrongest, and Most Befuddling Playthings of Toy Fair 2011

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Toy Fair is filled with many delightful and edifying doodads. It's also jam-packed with bric-a-brac that's unsuitable for all ages. Here are some of Toy Fair's most bizarre baubles.

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First off, we have PBM's Gluttony statue from their "Seven Deadly Sins" line. Nothing says "Toy Fair" quite like a naked man eating garbage.

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"Giant Microbes" is a cute notion...but a Swine Flu doll?

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NECA's Giant Size X-Men Heroclix line includes The Captain from Nextwave. For those of you unfamiliar with the character, The Captain originally named himself "Captain ####" until Captain America beat the crap out of him. He's also drunk most of the time. I love the severed Fin Fang Foom fingers.

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If I played Heroclix, I would only play The Captain with the Wonder Twins here. My team would win every game by default — my opponents would quit out of incredulity and/or pity.

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Iggy Pop's severed head follows him everywhere, like an oni.

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This Ron Weasley bobblehead cast Avada Kevadra on his own Adam's apple.

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Everyone needs the stripper gremlin from Gremlins 2 on their mantel.

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A Gizmo hat shouldn't look like Pedobear.

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This LEGO version of Captain Jack Sparrow comes with a cannibal spit. Promoting the consumption of your fellow brick = a milestone for LEGO playsets.

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"No, that's not erotic art. It's an erotic collectible."

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Instead of coal, Santa Claus resolved to give the bad children of the world this Exorcist action figure.

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Steampunk Joker? Female Johnny Depp Mad Hatter? Popinjay Daryl Hannah from Blade Runner? Acid trip Cher from Burlesque?

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I forget who this character is, but we found her displayed with legs splayed. I'm not entirely sure this was accidental.

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This Wonder Woman came from a magical island. South Padre Island.

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Is Glinda the Good Witch an adorable baby or a bowl of tapioca? I honestly cannot tell.

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Hunger Games — you loved the books, now wear the socks!

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This is one of those Jesus Plays Baseball statues for the Twilight generation.

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Speaking of Twilight, here's Bella's engagement ring. In the movie the ring was an oval, this is a CIRCLE. Canon fail.

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Another tasteful maquette that belongs next to your child's T-Ball trophies.

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This statue of Darth Maul is sensuous. Is Darth Maul supposed to look like an Irish Spring commerical?

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And here's a Big Barda maquette. This brings to mind everyone's favorite John Byrne Superman story.

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Finally, here's Pride from the "Seven Deadly Sins." And I thought it was Lust.

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Smell + Pens = Smens. Worst portmanteau ever? Yes. Remember, it's poor taste to walk around with a Smens in your mouth.

DISCUSSION

Dr Emilio Lizardo

"Smen's" are just one "e" away from being the worst named toy ever.