Wicker Man Retro Review: 1973 Christopher Lee Folk Horror

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Image for article titled 10 May Day Lessons We Learned From The Wicker Man — Screenshot: British Lion Films

“You wouldn’t want to be here on May Day,” a character cautions Edward Woodward’s rigidly Christian, notably prudish Sergeant Howie in folk-horror classic The Wicker Man. After he travels to the isolated Summerisle to investigate reports of a missing child, he’s shocked—shocked!—to discover a community steeped in pagan beliefs.

Famously, it doesn’t end well for him. But for the rest of us, the movie contains a cornucopia of wisdom worth keeping in mind as we enter the exact time of year in which the 1973 film is set. Here are our favorite life lessons from Robin Hardy’s film—plus one from the wonderfully terrible 2006 Nicolas Cage remake, for good measure.

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“Shocks are so much better absorbed with the knees bent”

The island’s leader, Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee), receives Howie’s visit to his lush estate with extreme bemusement—a feeling that only escalates once he sees how horrified Howie is with the local way of life. So he invites the sputtering policeman to take a seat, with the bon mot quoted above. It’s solid advice!

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“One should always be open to the regenerative influences”

Lord Summerisle can get a little bit New Age with his pronouncements, but no hippie ever dressed this elegantly, flamboyantly dapper.

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Prosperity has its price

All that lush produce that propels the economy of Summerisle comes due to a combination of factors: the agrarian risk-taking of Lord Summerisle’s adventurous grandfather, who ascertained the exact right crops that would thrive in the island’s climate, and the understanding that nature must be “appeased where necessary.” Ahem.

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This one weird trick could cure your sore throat

We see a mother instruct her small daughter to hold a tiny frog in her mouth for a few seconds, explaining “Now, in he goes, and out he comes... he’s got your horrid old sore throat now, hasn’t he, poor creature!” as it croaks its way out of the frame. Maybe... don’t try this at home, actually.

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Respect the old gods

Better them than the Christian God, who—as Summerisle explains to a sputtering Howie—is dead: “He can’t complain. He had his chance, and in modern parlance, he blew it.” And Summerisle has the receipts, too, showing Howie photos of the island’s barren shores before its farming process became intertwined with some very old-school but newly revived religious beliefs.

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Express yourself musically

Because it’s so stuffed with folk songs—which are both performed on-screen as part of the narrative, and heard setting the scene on the soundtrack—Wicker Man is practically a musical. Repress the primal sonic urges within, and you’re likely to end up with a soul as vacuum-sealed as Sergeant Howie.

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Don’t leave your only means of escape vulnerable to sabotage

Rookie mistake, Howie.

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“Play the Fool, that’s what you’re here for!”

Poor Howie doesn’t realize how perfectly chosen his May Day “disguise” is. Future Summerisle infiltrators are advised to either pick a more low-key costume to steal, or at least try to play the part convincingly while they’re parading undercover.

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Never assume you’re the smartest person in the room

Howie is convinced he’s figured out the villagers’ nefarious plan, and how it all ties into the missing-child allegations he’s come to investigate. He’s secure in the idea that he’s smarter than all these backwater heathen weirdos. That makes it even more delicious when he realizes he’s been blind all along to what’s really going on, and his woeful misreading of his surroundings costs him the ultimate price.

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One man’s worst moment can become another man’s best meme

Not the Bees - Nic Cage in The Wicker Man

You knew this was coming, didn’t you?

10 May Day Lessons We Learned From The Wicker Man

Embrace the springtime with these nuggets of folk-horror wisdom from the 1973 horror classic (and the 2006 Nicolas Cage remake, too).

“Shocks are so much better absorbed with the knees bent”

“Shocks are so much better absorbed with the knees bent”

“One should always be open to the regenerative influences”

“One should always be open to the regenerative influences”

Prosperity has its price

Prosperity has its price

This one weird trick could cure your sore throat

This one weird trick could cure your sore throat

Respect the old gods

Respect the old gods

Express yourself musically

Express yourself musically

Don’t leave your only means of escape vulnerable to sabotage

Don’t leave your only means of escape vulnerable to sabotage

“Play the Fool, that’s what you’re here for!”

“Play the Fool, that’s what you’re here for!”

Never assume you’re the smartest person in the room

Never assume you’re the smartest person in the room

One man’s worst moment can become another man’s best meme

One man’s worst moment can become another man’s best meme