To: The Presidents of the United States
Hey there George Washington & Abraham Lincoln, happy birthday. I know that you two were huge gadget freaks in your time. So to make it a little easier to reach Gizmodo from beyond the grave, here's what's been going on today.
Abe, I know how you like to take pictures with those long exposures. Here's a great camera bag for you, it acts as a stabilizer so you can get rid of that giant tripod. Oh and George, in Arkansas there's a device called a robot that is now hunting for an ivory-billed woodpecker that may or may not exist anymore, have you seen one before?
And just so you know I went out and got party bags for everyone that's coming to your birthday tonight. I added things like a plasma light bulb, an 8.1MP camera (they only cost me $100 each), and a wooden MP3 player just for you old timers.
Hope you two have a sweet 275th & 198th birthday!
P.S. Did you hear about that Crazy Britney Spears? Well just in case you want to cut your ectoplasm a little shorter here's what you need.