Big Energy Coffee Lightning Review: Because Sometimes Caffeine Alone Just Isn't Enough

America! The land of excess. Our crusts are cheese-filled, our cheese and bacon sandwiched between not bread but two thick-cut slabs of fried chicken. Whatever it is, we must always have more.

What Is It?

Coffee meets energy drink. Per 12-oz cupful: 32mg ginseng, 42mg guarana, 32mg yerba mate (of which 1mg is caffeine), 1mcg vitamin B12, 8mg taurine.

Who's It For?

College students, harried housewives, recovering junkies, bloggers.

Design

n/a

Using It

Felt my heart beating... like, I really felt it. Experienced feelings of resentment towards 7-Eleven for not making better-tasting coffee, and toward actual good coffee vendors for not adding into their drinks this special supercaffeine brew. Still felt a little punchy, even after several hours had passed.

12oz normal caffeinated coffee
Resting heart rate before: 103 (yes, wow, I know.)
After: 106

12oz Big Energy
Resting heart rate before: 103
After: 109

The Best Part

20% more caffeine than a regular 12-oz cup.

Tragic Flaw

It tastes terrible. It tastes really, really bad. Flavor is not good. Yucky. Not a fan of the manner in which it assaults your tastebuds.

Test Notes

From our test subjects:

• "It tastes like I made a pot of coffee, then let it sit out in the open for four days: stale and bitter."
• "Eugh! This is terrible!"
• "Do I really have to drink all of this?"
• "Can I just give mine to somebody else?"
• "My hands are shaking."
• "Like I drank three coffees, with some but not all of the stomach grossness and anxiety."

Should You Buy It?

If you want to stay up late: yes. If you're looking for a tasty artisanal brew: sewer water would be more satisfying than this.

7-11 Big Energy Enhanced Coffee-Like Beverage

• Volume: 12 ounces
• Caffeine Count: Approx 295mg per 12-oz cup: 243mg from base coffee blend, 48mg pure caffeine added, 3mg from guarana, 1mg from yerba mate.
• Price: $1.35