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An Incomplete List Of Improbable Justifications For a SpaceX Farmer

Illustration for article titled An Incomplete List Of Improbable Justifications For a SpaceX Farmer

SpaceX is hiring a farmer. Making up outrageous reasons why a bleeding-edge spaceship manufacturer requires a farmer is far more interesting than the prosaic, "Our testing facility is surrounded by a farm that needs maintenance." Join me in unfounded speculation!


The company's rocket development and testing facility in McGregor, Texas, is surrounded by farmland also owned by the company. This gives them a protective buffer for when test flights don't go exactly as planned, and makes it entirely reasonable that they'd need a farmer. But that's a dull, reasonable explanation. Surely we can come up with something more inspired! To get things started, here's an incomplete list of alternate explanations:


What are your ideas?

Top image: SpaceX's rocket development and testing facility in McGregor, Texas, is surrounded by parcels of farmland, the most likely reason the spacecraft manufacturer needs a farmer. Image credit: Steve Jurvetson

Interested in bringing agriculture to the SpaceX team? You can apply for the job here.

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"They laughed!" He said, as he pushed his hoe through the prepared soil. "But I was right, they were wrong!" He crowed.

He looked up at the blue sky and the sun in the distance. And the vast fields he has cared for and sown with seeds over the last few months.

"We'll craft a paradise out of this rock yet!"

As we zoom out into the sky, the farmer becomes a tiny speck in the camera's eye. Within moments we pass and zoom through clouds and finally get to the edge of the dome within which he lives. As we go further, we see the lunar surface, as the massive dome becomes smaller and smaller, the large crater finally shrinking to a more reasonable size when compared with its companions.

As we go out further and further still, we see the wreckage of our endevors and our satellites... and finally, we see a world larger, but no less barren and inhospitable than the moon we just left. Covered in ice and only the barest of atmospheres, we cannot begin to imagine what went wrong, but our Earth sits dead, buried under the weight of its own air, and the hubris of its species. Reduced to but a singular example, tending a massive field, under a dome on a barren world. Waiting for the harvest that will never come, and the colonists who are long since dead and forgotten.

Maybe one day the earth will thaw, and life might have a slim chance of evolving again. But long before that day, this last man will die and turn to dust, his fields become fallow and barren... and eventually the entire structure to collapse or be buried by the unrelenting forces of time and space. To perhaps remain undiscovered and unknown... as the sun slowly marches towards its last days alive.

Or we can chose differently. Choose to embrace space. To embrace new frontiers and new horizons, before its too late. :)

Life is choice. Choose wisely.