ChatGPT and Bard Made Me These 12 Nasty Cocktails Inspired by Tech CEOs

Recipe:

• 2 oz vodka
• 1 oz blue curacao liqueur
• 1 oz lemon juice
• 1 oz simple syrup
• Club soda
• Ice
• Lemon wheel, for garnish

Chat GPT’s notes: “This cocktail is inspired by the blue color of Facebook’s logo and the refreshing fizz of the social media platform. Enjoy responsibly!”

Review: The Zuckerberg-inspired ‘Facebook Fizz’ wasn’t exactly bad per see but it certainly wasn’t good either. In fact, the drink really lacked any strong taste one way or another, which seems like an apt comparison to the Facebook founder’s notoriously amoral disposition.

Recipe:

• 2 ounces vodka
• 1 ounce gin
• 1 ounce tequila
• 1 ounce Mezcal
• 1 ounce fresh lime juice
• 1 ounce simple syrup
• ½ teaspoon Himalayan salt
• ¼ teaspoon black pepper

Google Bard description: “This cocktail is inspired by Jack Dorsey’s morning routine of drinking “salt juice.” The salt and pepper add a touch of flavor and complexity, while the citrus juices and alcohol provide a refreshing and invigorating boost. It’s the perfect drink to start your day off right, or to enjoy after a long day of work.”

Review: The Salty CEO was one of the most feared drinks on the list based solely on its unflattering ingredients but it the end product actually tasted pretty similar to a perfectly acceptable margarita. The drink is “salty” as advertised but doesn’t go so far in that direction that it tastes like a gulp full of seawater.

Recipe:  

• 1/2 oz vodka
• 1/2 oz blue curacao
• 1 oz lime juice
• 1/2 oz honey syrup
• Dash of orange bitters
• Splash of Red Bull
• Lemon twist, for garnish

ChatGPT notes: Enjoy the “Electric Entrepreneur” cocktail while contemplating your next big idea or exploring the limits of what’s possible!

Review: The Electric Entrepeneur is loud, highly caffeinated, in your face, and leaves a nasty taste lingering in your mouth. If the goal was to make a drink that embodied its namesake’s aura, ChatGPT truly nailed it on this one.

Recipe:

• 1 1/2 oz gin
• 1 oz apple cider
• 1/2 oz lemon juice
• 1/2 oz simple syrup
• 1/2 oz triple sec
• Dash of cinnamon
• Apple slice, for garnish

ChatGPT notes: Enjoy the “Innovative Executive” cocktail while brainstorming new and exciting ideas, or simply appreciating the spirit of innovation that Tim Cook embodies!

Review: The ‘Innovate Executive’ does a great job of embodying a CEO who, while still massively successful and still technically at the helm of Apple, will always feel like a B-team version of his former boss. The Tim Cook-inspired drink tastes of flat apple juice that just happens to be boozy. The dash of cinnamon at the end attempts to raise this uninspired mixer up at the last minute but ultimately falls flat leaving the entry tasting like a cacophony of unexciting, dulled flavors.

Recipe:

• 2 ounces tequila
• 1 ounce blue curaçao
• 1 ounce lime juice
• Club soda, to top
• Lime wedge, for garnish

Google Bard description: I chose these ingredients because they represent some of the qualities that I associate with Jeff Bezos. Tequila is a clear spirit that is often associated with success and ambition. Blue curaçao is a tropical flavor that represents Bezos’s vision for space travel. Lime juice is a tart citrus fruit that represents Bezos’s determination and drive. Club soda is a refreshing beverage that represents Bezos’s ability to relax and enjoy life.

Review: If there’s one thing Amazon founder Jeff Bezos understands, it’s consistency. And union busting. The Blue Origin hits on that first quality, serving up a blue margarita-inspired drink that’s completely accessible and highly drinkable. The Blue Origin is the type of middling cocktail you’d likely find poured by the pitcher full at a mid-tier chain restaurant like Ruby Tuesday’s or Chili’s.

Recipe:

• 1 1/2 oz vodka
• 1 oz blueberry juice
• 1/2 oz lime juice
• 1/2 oz honey syrup
• 1/2 oz triple sec
• Splash of club soda
• Blueberries, for garnish

ChatGPT notes: Enjoy the “Cloud Nine” cocktail while reflecting on the innovative and forward-thinking leadership of Satya Nadella, or while exploring the exciting possibilities of cloud computing technology!

Review: Easily One of the better drinks of the bunch. The drink is orange flavor forward but the blueberries give it a nice unique taste and some different flavor. No real complaints here.

Recipe:

• 1 1/2 oz gin
• 1 oz grapefruit juice
• 1/2 oz lime juice
• 1/2 oz simple syrup
• Splash of tonic water
• Lime wheel, for garnish

ChatGPT notes: Enjoy the “Googletini” cocktail while pondering the future of technology and the impact that companies like Google and Alphabet Inc. are having on the world!

Review: The “Googletini” is a drink you’ll likely only want one of, if at all. The grapefruit flavor cuts through leading to a bitter, but not bitter enough taste that’s too indecisive to be appealing. The Gooletini has a refreshing, springtime spell, but that’s about the best compliment it can receive.

Recipe:

• 1 1/2 oz tequila
• 1 oz grapefruit juice
• 1/2 oz lime juice
• 1/2 oz honey syrup
• Splash of sparkling wine
• Grapefruit twist, for garnish

ChatGPT notes: “Enjoy the ‘Venture Vibe’ cocktail while discussing new business ideas or reflecting on the exciting possibilities of entrepreneurship and innovation!”

Review: Without any doubt, the “Venture Vibe stands” stands apart as easily the nastiest entry of the bunch. This writer is no snob when it comes to anything with alcohol in it, but this unpalatable marriage of tequila and sparkling wine found itself swirling down the kitchen drain and a few sips. It’s somewhat ironic that ChatGPT would choose the most abhorrent drink imaginable to represent its corporate father. Maybe there’s something to the whole AI sentience argument after all.

Recipe:

• 1 1/2 oz vodka
• 1 oz apple juice
• 1/2 oz lemon juice
• 1/2 oz simple syrup
• Dash of bitters
• Thin slice of apple, for garnish

ChatGPT notes: “Enjoy the “iMartini” cocktail while celebrating the innovative spirit of Steve Jobs and the impact that Apple has had on technology and design!”

Review: The “iMartini” seems like a win on the first sip. Its Apple-themed flavors stand out and punch through. One quickly begins to realize though that this intense mix of sugars and fruits is a quick one-way ticket to a blistering hangover. Limit yourself to one.

Recipe:

• 2 ounces vodka
• 1 ounce St. Germain elderflower liqueur
• 1 ounce lime juice
• Cucumber, for garnish

Google Bard notes: “I chose these ingredients because they represent some of the qualities that I associate with Elizabeth Holmes. Vodka is a clear spirit that is often associated with purity and precision. St. Germain is a floral liqueur that represents Holmes’s creativity and vision. Lime juice is a tart citrus fruit that represents Holmes’s determination and drive. Cucumber is a refreshing vegetable that represents Holmes’s calm and collected demeanor.”

But wait: Bard added a disclaimer to the bottom of the recipe saying it does not condone Holmes’ actions since she is facing criminal fraud charge. ChatGPT, on the other hand, flat-out refused to make the cocktail.

Recipe: The Theranos is an unbalanced, overly floral cocktail that tried to present itself as sophisticated but winds up tasting like a perfumed turd. But in a kind of a good way? This drink received polarizing reviews from Gizmodo’s taste testers.

Recipe:

• 1 1/2 oz rum
• 1 oz pineapple juice
• 1/2 oz lime juice
• 1/2 oz blue curaçao
• Splash of ginger beer
• Pineapple wedge, for garnish

ChatGPT notes: “Enjoy the ‘Crypto Cooler’ cocktail while discussing the future of cryptocurrency and the innovative approaches that Sam Bankman-Fried and FTX are taking to revolutionize the industry!”

Review: The Crypto Cooler was surprisingly not half bad! The drink tastes like a kind of cool, fruity, sugary, summer vacation drink one would enjoy while lounging beach-side in the Bahamas. Who knows, maybe SBF was enjoying an icy Crypto Cooler moments before he was arrested in the Bahamas last year.

Recipe

• 2 ounces vodka
• 1 ounce orange juice
• 1 ounce cranberry juice
• 1/2 ounce lime juice
• 1/2 ounce simple syrup
• Orange slice, for garnish

Google Bard description: “Ichose these ingredients because they represent some of the qualities that I associate with Donald Trump. Vodka is a clear spirit that is often associated with clarity and intelligence. Orange juice is a sweet and tart citrus fruit that represents Trump’s determination and drive. Cranberry juice is a tart and refreshing fruit that represents Trump’s resilience. Lime juice is a tart citrus fruit that represents Trump’s outspokenness. Simple syrup is a sweet syrup that balances out the tartness of the orange juice, cranberry juice, and lime juice. Orange slice adds a refreshing touch.”

Recipe: Imagine a screwdriver you’d drink at an Irish pub at 1:00 p.m. on a Tuesday. Except it’s $24 and somehow became president for four years.