This afternoon, Donald Trump wrapped up a meeting with Rice University professor and historian Douglas Brinkley. According to members of the press pool following the president elect, the crux of their conversation revolved around “a man going to the moon.” Naturally we must ask ourselves: does Trump know we’ve done that no less than a dozen times?
I only bring this up because, well, Trump has close associations with a few people who believe the moon landings were faked. Roger Stone, a close advisor of Trump’s, has said he believes the iconic footage of Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong setting foot on Earth’s satellite was “shot in a warehouse in NJ.” Likewise, conspiracy theorist and possible Saiyan radio host Alex Jones denies the event took place. Trump in turn has praised Jones’ “reputation” and has vowed “I will not let you down” to the shrieking mass of sanguine flesh hawking bunk nutritional supplements.
Trump, ever a suffocating presence on Twitter, has yet to broadcast his thoughts on the moon landing to the world. The closest he’s come to an official stance was a quote he lifted from Mitt Romney back in 2012.
Even if we’re to give Trump the benefit of the doubt—an unwise position, generally—and say he’s aware the United States has sent multiple Apollo astronauts to the Moon over the course of three years, why are we entertaining this as the best course of action when we’ve done this shit many, many times? He many not be an establishment Republican, but he shares his Moonlust with party staples like Jeb Bush and Newt Gingrich, who infamously suggested we build colonies there.
More pressingly though: Trump also has a profound and well-documented hatred towards China. Can you imagine what an asshole he’d look like if China beat the United States to Mars? China’s National Space Administration announced today it plans to send probes to Mars by 2020—and presumably manned missions not too long after. But sure, lets dick around on the Moon some more.
In the event PEOTUS truly has no idea all of these landings took place, here are a list of people who have walked on the moon—all of them American, all completing their missions during Trump’s lifetime:
- Neil Armstrong
- Buzz Aldrin
- Pete Conrad
- Alan Bean
- Alan Shepard
- Edgar Mitchell
- David Scott
- James Irwin
- John Young
- Charles Duke
- Gene Cernan
- Jack Schmitt
If his picks for astronauts are anything like the people he’s appointed to his presidential cabinet so far, it’ll be one or two less billionaires here on Earth.