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Donald J. Trump Has Left the Meeting

Illustration for article titled iDonald J. Trump Has Left the Meeting/i
Image: Win McNamee (Getty Images)

Public health hazard President Donald Trump has decided that he won’t be participating in a virtual debate, a format which all but ensures that the moderators get a mute button (and also that Trump doesn’t get more people sick). “You sit behind a computer and do a debate,” he told Fox Business correspondent Maria Bartiromo on Thursday. “It’s ridiculous, and then they cut you off whenever they want.”

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An internal FEMA memo leaked yesterday has indicated that 34 people linked to the White House have now tested positive for the coronavirus.

As a preview of the dialogue we’ll be missing, Trump’s campaign manager Bill Stepien, who has also tested positive for covid-19, called the Commission on Presidential Debates “swamp creatures,” attacking them for rushing “to Biden’s defense by unilaterally canceling an in-person debate.”

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“President Trump will have posted multiple negative tests prior to the debate, so there is no need for this unilateral declaration,” Stepien said in a statement. “The safety of all involved can easily be achieved without canceling a chance for voters to see both candidates go head to head. We’ll pass on this sad excuse to bail out Joe Biden and do a rally instead.”

Vice President Pence’s team had reportedly fought the decision to install plexiglass barriers at last night’s vice presidential debate.

Despite the suspicious likelihood that Trump still has covid-19, he’s all but denied that he inhabits a puny human body, speculating earlier this week that he’s “immune,” telling the public not to let covid “dominate” them, and insisting that staying in the hospital is not very leader-like.

The Biden campaign has announced that Biden will attend nonetheless. “Vice President Biden looks forward to speaking directly to the American people,” deputy campaign manager Kate Bedingfield said.

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Trump will undoubtedly compare ratings. Any questions? Fuck you.

Staff reporter, Gizmodo. wkimball @ gizmodo

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DISCUSSION

singleuseplastic
singleuseplastic

As if it wasn’t abundantly clear that his only strategy going into a debate is to be the loudest, most annoying person in the room.