Everything You Need To Waste Your Life Waiting In Line For the New iPad

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First of all: don't do this, it's dumb. But if you absolutely HAVE to spend three days camped out in front of your local iStore to get your hands on the new iPad, here's everything you're going to need to survive the soul-crushing ordeal.

Sumo Lounge Chair

With three days to kill you're not going to spend the entire time standing. You need a comfy place to sit, and a folding lawn chair isn't gonna cut it for that long. We recommend Sumo's over-sized beanbag chairs instead, which are actually filled with polyester fibers in lieu of beans so they won't compress over time.


The Gamer model pictured above has already proven itself as the perfect place to plop down for long gaming sessions, so it should easily endure a three day wait with fanboys who will put console devotees to shame. $200


Hammock Sleeping Bag

As excited as you are to talk about how amazing the new iPad is going to be all day long, at some point you're going to need to sleep. And if you're lucky enough to be located between a couple of street poles, this hammock sleeping bag is a great solution.

It keeps you off the ground away from the local wildlife, and it's engineered so the sleeping bag's padded lining doesn't get smooshed against the hammock, minimizing its insulating properties. In other words, you'll stay warm, safe, and probably even look extra obnoxious to passing strangers. $180

Photoblocking Beer Cooler

This photo-blocking beer cooler was designed to prevent photos of your late-night drunken antics at the club from showing up on Facebook. But it will work just as well when it comes to preventing local bloggers from photographing and mocking your devotion.


It uses sensors to determine when a camera's flash has gone off, then immediately fires its own bright LEDs which will completely over-expose any photo someone tries to take of you. It will of course also keep your beverage cold, but since your line is probably in a public place you'll need to stick to filling it with soda and water instead of beer.


CamelBak H.A.W.G. Hydration Pack

A water bottle isn't going to last for three days, particularly if you're lined up outside in the sun all day. And since there will probably be no place to plug in a water cooler, your next best solution is a CamelBak pack that can store up to three liters of water, accessible through a shoulder-mounted straw.


The pack can hold all of your other gear as well, and when it's filled with water you can even use it as a pillow, recreating the feeling of your waterbed back home. $150


Power Box Pedal Powered Generator

Speaking of having nowhere to plug stuff in, if you're stuck on a sidewalk outside a store there's no way you're going to find a free outlet. You'll have to bring your own, and K-Tor's pedal-powered Power Box kills two birds with one stone.

Not only will your continuous pedaling keep your laptop, cellphone, and other gear powered, but it will also counteract the fact that you'll be sitting like a sloth for three days straight, subsisting off of fast food. The last thing you need is those doors to open on Friday morn and you not able to run into the store because your leg muscles have atrophied. $TBA


Reliance Luggable Loo

What? You don't think Starbucks is going to get tired of you using its bathroom? And what if some unscrupulous individual ignores the law of the line and cuts in while you're taking a bathroom break? You need to come equipped for every situation, and I mean every situation.


You'll have to get used to relieving yourself without any privacy, but these Luggable Loo buckets are a cheap way to answer Mother Nature's call without giving up your spot in line. The prospect of relieving one's self in a bucket is a little gross, I agree, but do you want the new iPad before your friends get one or don't you? $20


Your iPad 2

Let's be honest here. If you're devoted enough to Apple to wait three days in line for a marginal refresh of its tablet, you probably did the same for the original iPad, and the iPad 2.


And as long as you get a version with a mobile data plan, or camp close enough to an Apple Store to use its free wi-fi, you're all set to stay on top of early reviews of the New iPad, unboxing videos, tear-downs, and anything you can get your hands on to help justify wasting three days of your life. $399

Photo: Associated Press/Paul Sakuma