Finally, the Journalism Action Figure I've Always Wanted

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Really, the mustache being slightly off-angle as Jonah’s face warps in rage sells it.
Really, the mustache being slightly off-angle as Jonah’s face warps in rage sells it.
Image: Hasbro

There are enough toys of superheroes, Jedi Knights, or spaceship captains. It’s about time we got a real hero of the times: just a man who really, really wants some pictures.

Today Hasbro announced the latest edition to its “retro” line of Spider-Man Marvel Legends action figures, bringing classic takes on beloved heroes and villains from Peter’s world and putting them on cardbacks that, if you’re as damaged as I am, immediately make your internal monologue start shredding a guitar and going “spider-man, spider-man, radioactive, spider-man” on loop.

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But who wants Spider-Man and Mary Jane, or Kingpin or Mysterio, when you could have the real man of the hour: J. Jonah Jameson?

Image for article titled Finally, the Journalism Action Figure I've Always Wanted
Image: Hasbro
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A “fan channel” exclusive available through specialist stores like Entertainment Earth—or directly through Hasbro itself at its Pulse website—the 6" scaled Jonah comes with a few accessories, mostly in the form of alternate hands that are all suitably enraged. There’s a clenched fist, for shaking as you curse Spider-Man’s name. There’s a pointing finger, for pointing at Spider-Man as you shake your clenched fist cursing his name (or to point at people to make sure they get you pictures. Pictures of Spider-Man!).

Then there are gripping hands for the two different versions of the Daily Bugle JJJ also comes with: one furled, and one unfurled, so you can read the actually printed stories fit for the Bugles front page:

Image for article titled Finally, the Journalism Action Figure I've Always Wanted
Image: Hasbro
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I love that the pictures of Mysterio and Spider-Man are actually of the action figures, too. But honestly, my favorite detail about this figure is Jonah’s fluttering tie, perpetually in motion, like he’s always ready to stomp onto the scene yelling about a deadline or his favorite, tragic arch-nemesis. It’s the little things that make an action figure of a comic book newspaper editor worthwhile, really.

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The Marvel Legends Retro J. Jonah Jameson is set to drop in December, for $21.


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