Illustration for article titled God Bless America, But Mostly Just the Freedom Tray

What does the Freedom Tray do? Lots of stuff, ok? Shut up. Is this a patriotic tray? Yeah, that's more like it.


The official answer, to this official question:

The Freedom Tray is a tribute to the world class manufacturing and dedication of the hard working people of this country. We are proud that the Freedom Tray is completely made and manufactured in the USA with US-made materials. Also, as the name implies, the tray provides you the freedom to live an organized, spill-free and uncluttered life without changing your day-to-day routine.


In other words, yes. It also holds drinks, fries, chicken, or drink-fries-or-chicken-shaped-things, has legs sometimes, and is basically a small plastic folding table with rubber bands, which costs $20. I now yield the floor to the ever-so-slightly not American-sounding Ewa Mataya Laurance:
Being in your car, watching TV, boating, camping, at the game, the race, or serving up burgers at the tailgate party! This stuff belongs in our constitution, somewhere. Along with a coupon for the Freedom Tray. [Wonkette]

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