Iran Is Quitting the Internet Because It's Afraid of America

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After being dominated by weaponized trojan horses on two different occasions, nuclear loudmouth Iran says it's had enough: it's unplugging from the Internet, hiding, and making its own.

The Telegraph reports Iran's telecommunications minister has had enough of all this US/Israeli nonsense—he wants an Internet free from Stuxnet, Flame, and all the cyber weapons sure to follow. That way, Iran can continue to maybe make nuclear weapons in peace, while also being free from pesky Western evils like Facebook, pornography, YouTube, and Rihanna GIFs:

He described the move as the first phase of a project to replace the global internet with a domestic intranet system scheduled to be completed within 18 months.


On the other hand, ripping out your tie to the Internet could make being part of the global economy difficult, and wouldn't do anything to help Iran's rotten human rights record. But on the other other hand, easier nukes, and no nuke-disturbing virus attacks. Then we'll just have to use that 30,000-pound bomb. [Telegraph]