It's Officially Cool to Be Completely Apathetic About Pokémon Go

The life cycle of a trend usually goes something like this: manic obsession, backlash, backlash to the backlash, slow death. With the Pokémon Go craze, it seems that the “manic obsession” phase has just about run its course, which is lovely because that means we’re one step closer to that slow, gentle death. (How sweetly she coos.)


Brands and politicians getting in on the fun has ushered Pokémon Go into the era of backlash. WIRED already proclaimed that it’s “officially cool” to hate Pokémon Go. Someone with far too much time on their hands has taken to graffiti-ing “Pokémon NO” on the streets on New York City. Their mission statement? “More and more Pokemon players are getting into accidents. Take care cause you can’t catch them all, if you get caught first.”


Here’s the thing about vehemently hating something as explosively popular as Pokémon Go: It makes you look like a petty dick. It also makes you seem like you take everything way too seriously. And if you happened to attend middle school, you know that a sure fire way to look like a nerd is to take something seriously.

Sure, the game has caused car accidents, led people to dead bodies and into the hands of armed robbers. Yes, the game was co-opted Hillary “Yaaaas Kween” Clinton—and subsequently Trump—to appeal to the youths.

But guess what, haters? You’re just as uncool as the nerds who can’t put down their damn phones. Hating requires effort. Exerting said effort to bring down something that most people are having fun doing is exhausting! And it doesn’t pay off. Think of the sheer amount of work it took to type out and tape up this sign:

If you want to be cool about Pokémon Go, apathy is the way to go, my friend.

Don’t talk about Pokémon Go. Don’t post about Pokémon Go. Don’t think about Pokémon Go. Don’t have any iota of feeling about Pokémon Go. Transcend to an enlightened plane of existence where Pokémon Go doesn’t exist to you. Namaste, motherfuckers.




Sounds like a big waste of time... maybe they should put the time and effort moving out of their parents’ house/basement.