Living in Silicon Valley Sounds Like a Nightmare

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The housing situation has gotten so ridiculous in Palo Alto, the original home of Facebook and Google, that there’s a studio up for sale for a cool $1.3 million dollars. Bloomberg says that’s totally normal. Good luck using your phone in your stupid overpriced studio, because cell service is a total shit show.

According to Bloomberg, the median home value in Palo Alto has doubled to $2.5 million dollars since 2005, which is 13 times the national level. Wow, that’s a lot of money, and you can’t even use your goddamn cellphone in your expensive ass house turned quasi-faraday cage. Nice job, idiot.


You might try to have your Tesla take itself out of your garage, hop in and let it drive you to somewhere hospitable with at least two bars of LTE, but good luck doing that. Traffic is also a nightmare in sunny Silicon Valley. Wow, this shit sounds like a hellhole! Not to mention that you are surrounded by other annoying rich people who love to terrorize their neighbors.

While you are trying to figure out how to pay your exorbitant mortgage—or rent—try not to worry about your job coding up apps and software, because the mayor is literally considering banning companies that write code. What a nightmare! (For you.)

[Bloomberg and New York Times]


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William Turton

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