Locking Wallet for Gambling Addicts

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This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.
This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.
This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.
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You know when you go to a casino, and you're up up up up up?! And then you keep playing, until you're so bust you can't even afford a milkshake at some crappy Reno Diner? And then you make out with the 60-year old cougar waitress for her tip jar, just so you can afford gas for the drive back home? No?

Then neither have I.

But if I were some sort of psychotic with a crippling gambling addict I'd probably consider getting the Winner's Bank 200 locking wallet...

As long as you leave the key at home, the wallet's metal, cigarette case sized shell will store your cash or chips so you can't lose em to the house. It sounds crazy. But it just might work. Or I might just get so desperate for money that I drive over and over the case with my car until it pops open. I mean, SOMEONE who is addicted to gambling, yeah, they might do that. Not me.

The instructions are mindblowing:

Instructions on how to use your Winners Bank200:

1.
Leave the keys at home!
2.
Also leave at home all credit cards, ATM cards, and checkbooks.
3.
Bring only a set amount of money, along with a positive, winning attitude.
4.
Have a "Winner's Game Plan." (Read "Winners Bank200 " Card)
5.
When you win, put it in. Put at least 50% of all your winnings.
6.
Winners Bank200 accommodates multiple monetary units including casino chips.
7.
When inserting paper money, fold the bill into eights.
8.
Pull out the "Winners Bank200 " Card, and position it to push the money in.
9.
"Showfor the Money!" into your Winners Bank200 by pushing it in.
10.
Do NOT attempt to pick or break your Winners Bank200.
11.
When you get home, insert the key into the back panel of the keyhole.
12.
Turn the key hard clockwise (to the right).
13.
With the key attached, remove the back panel and get your money out.
14.
Replace the back panel and secure it by turning the key counter-clockwise (left).
15.
Now you are a REAL Winner!

The Winner's Bank 200 [The Winner's Bank]

DISCUSSION

munch-the-bannail-old
Munch the BanNail

Uhhhh, they DO realize that the chips have no value outside of the casino, right? So you have to go home, unlock your chips and money, and then return to the casino to cash out the chips (probably bringing your money back with you)? That thing doesn't help you save your money, it just makes you pay way more in gas. I'm especially fond of "Do NOT attempt to pick or break your Winners Bank200" being part of the instructions. Nothing like "so well constructed that an elephant with 2 jackhammers couldn't brake in!!!" They just demand that you don't tamper with the damned thing. Evidently nobody at that company has any real idea what 'addiction' is.

"Well, I was going to spend all of my money, forsaking everything else in my life, but the Winners Bank2000 did tell me not to pick or break the bank open, so I'm going to go home and have some oatmeal!! Huzzah, I'm cured!!"

Nice idea, poor execution.