Lucifer Wins Satanic Monday Again, But Damien Is Definitely Getting Better

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We already knew that Amenadiel plucked Malcolm and his sleazy facial hair from the fiery pit after the fallen police officer was taken off life support. And we knew that Dan, who’s been trying to hard to work things out with Chloe, was the person who shot him. But in both cases, we didn’t know why.



All was revealed on “A Priest Walks Into a Bar,” though truth be told neither came as a huge surprise: Amenadiel needs Malcolm to assassinate the suddenly mortal Lucifer so he’ll be forced to return to his throne. And Dan only shot Malcolm to protect Chloe—though that one bit of secret heroism has become quite the headache now that Malcolm’s alive and in full blackmail mode. Also, eating: in the episode’s most amusing throwaway joke, Malcolm can’t stop freaking out over how delicious junk food is—first a donut in the cop shop, then what appears to be everything on the menu at an all-night diner. The meals in hell must really suck.

Over on Damien, cops are also becoming an important part of the story. We’re only on episode three (“The Defender”), and the number of freak accidents that’ve trailed in Damien’s wake has already attracted the attention of tough-guy Detective Shay. However, he’s not the only detective on this show: Damien is trying to figure out the secrets of his Satanic past, and Simone and Amani are digging into whatever Kelly was investigating before she died (i.e., Damien’s Satanic past).

Meanwhile, Ann Rutledge, who has the quote of the week (“We can’t just put a gun to his head and say ‘Bring about the apocalypse!’”), continues to be the boss of all bosses, manipulating Damien into causing yet another one of those freak accidents:

Death by escalator! Excellent. Damien himself might still be kinda boring, but the behind-the-scenes power struggle is heating up—which means the show is starting to get way more interesting.



It was kind of nice seeing Lucifer bond with the priest and the whole “I wasn’t born a priest” thing he had going with his rock & roll past. It made it more believable when Lucifer was angry about him getting shot and taking it out on the shooter, as he does.

But no devil eyes or face? If anyone deserved it... Maybe because they were in a church, like out of respect?

And if that crooked cop was in hell for 30 seconds but no one’s running it so no one’s getting tortured, how bad could it have been? Still, interesting that’s why he was chosen to kill Lucifer so he ends up back there. But again, if he’s there from dying a mortal death and not choosing to go back to run it, would he still be its ruler or just another denizen?