Nintendo Is Literally More Valuable Than Sony Because You're All Nerd-Ass Pokémon Go Freaks

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Sometimes I wake up in a tizzy in the middle of the night, jolted awake with the anxiety that I am somehow separate from regular society because I fundamentally do not understand the appeal of Pokémon fucking Go. Welp, turns out I am. Because Pokémon Go is fucking unstoppable, and now, according to Bloomberg, Nintendo is worth more than Sony. Let that sink in for a second.

Two days after the game was released, Nintendo increased in value by $7.5 billion.

But that’s small potatoes compared to where the company is at now because they’re worth almost $40 billion now. Sony, on the other hand, is worth a measly $38.38 billy. Losers. Nintendo’s value has increased exponentially because of a literal app where—if I understand correctly—you walk around so made-up creatures can battle with other made-up creatures, and sometimes they turn into different creatures?


You all are freaky as hell with this Pokémon Go shit. Like, freaky freaky.