OMG I Did Not Text That

Illustration for article titled OMG I Did Not Text That

It's the worst feeling: Waking up completely wrecked from the night before, only to realize with a dull sweat that you pressed 'Send'. Fortunately for the rest of us, what you drunkenly texted is often hilarious.

And now there's even a whole website dedicated to collecting your stupidest text messages: Texts From Last Night (dot com), which has upped the ante with a book and the now obligatory iPhone app. (You can, of course, just text them.)

Here are some of our favorites.

Just because this came from California I'm not going to judge

(707) he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?

Strategy: Indisputable; Tactics: Perhaps Less So

Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave? I'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife.


Modern love is hard, but Google is not

(314) I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.

Mooning Over My Hammies

Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle-aged waitress at the Denny's in Waco. She's used but in good condition.


No, you're good. Just set your desk on fire.

She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?


But where's the remote?

dude I woke up laying next to some guy. I don't have my bra or his name. he has a nice TV though.


Unfortunately all I ever watched was "The A-Team", so I just got in my van and drove away.

I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for rope so he wouldn't wake up. I am so glad I watched MacGyver as a kid.


Finally: Everyone here wins

(949) Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

(1-949) are you seriously doing this over text message

(949) hahaha no, but i am dumping you.


Share This Story

Get our `newsletter`


the last one wasn't funny when i read it on tfln and it's not funny here.