Yesterday afternoon, my girlfriend was followed into our building by a scummy little guy who thought it might be productive to try and grab her in the hall outside our apartment. Fortunately, my girlfriend is totally a superheroine, so all the creep got from her was a right hook and swift kick in the ass as he yelped and ran. What I got was an interest in the self-defense industry that I haven’t had since I was thirteen, back when I was a professional ninja.
Of course she didn’t even listen to my speech about the practical, daily uses of the katana, so I guess we’re going to have to get her something like the Pepper Pager. Now I can rest easy knowing that I’m just one really bad argument away from two million Scoville Heat Units (SHUs) of Oleoresin Capsium to the face.
