Perfect Petzzz are perhaps the most legitimately pathetic gift you could ever give to anyone. They're little stuffed animals that sleep and "breathe" with the help of a D battery. They're meant to just sleep forever and ever, but with that breathing movement it's supposed to bring just a little bit of life into some poor lonely person's sad existence. With over 30 breeds of cats and dogs to choose from, there's sure to be the perfect choice for you — as long as that choice isn't an actual friend. You can't get those for $40. Sorry, shut-ins! You'll have to settle for a breathing Jack Russell terrier doll rather than having another human being to share your hopes and dreams with! Thems the breaks. [Product Page]