Please Don't Let Ariana Grande Protect Us From Killer Aliens

Ariana Grande's new music video is billed as an "inconceivable outer space adventure." Well, "Break Free" is an adventure alright. But is it an adventure you'd like to embark upon? That depends on your confidence in Ariana Grande as an interstellar space warrior.


I, for one, have very little confidence in Ariana Grande's ability to fend off invading aliens. In the video, she can be seen defeating several creatures that look like they were rejects from a live action Futurama casting call . Ariana has weapons! They're a little bit dinky, though. The ray gun barely spits out scary-looking rays. The disco ball bra top just looks awkward. The rocket boobs are just weird. And the lightsaber lipstick, well, that one's pretty cool .

Regardless of her alien-slaying prowess, you can say one thing about Ariana. She can sing. As much as I shy away from pop music, I kind of love "Break Free" and its four-to-the-floor beat and its sidechain compression. I love it so much that I actually managed to watch the music video all the way to the end. I didn't even care that some wannabe Captain Kirk was on the ones and twos, while a former Nickelodeon star was hitting some crazy whistle tones and trying (read: failing) to dance. I didn't even care. [Spotify, iTunes, Amazon]

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I tried to care about how ridiculous the video is, but I found myself hopelessly mesmerized by her incredible hotness and didn't notice much else.