Quite possibly the most magical Amazon product description ever

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This honor goes to the book Deadly Equines: The Shocking True Story of Meat-Eating and Murderous Horses by CuChullaine O'Reilly. The product description reads as such:

There is widespread belief in a warm and comforting story which states the horse is a gentle herbivore. What if a Rosetta Stone had been found to unlock the dark secrets of the horse's past? An international multi-million dollar industry serviced by horse whisperers, glossy magazines and popular culture preaches that horses are meek prey animals who fear predators. What if evidence demonstrated horses have slain lions, tigers, pumas, wolves, hyenas and humans? Contemporary writers have successfully airbrushed murderous and meat-eating horses out of literature. What if Shakespeare, Sherlock Holmes and Steve McQueen provided artistic evidence to refute that claim? Thanks to global equestrian amnesia, the crucial role played by horses in recent history has been lost to mankind.

What if testimony revealed meat-eating horses had been used to explore the Poles and photographs had been discovered of Tibet's blood-eating horses? Deadly Equines is a revolutionary departure from equestrian romance. It is a fact-filled analysis which reveals how humanity has known about meat-eating horses for at least four thousand years, during which time horses have consumed nearly two dozen different types of protein, including human flesh, and that these episodes have occurred on every continent, including Antarctica. Various sources of corroborating data, including legends, literature, cinema, news stories, scientific reports and eyewitness accounts are presented for the reader's investigation. None of these items had been hidden. They were ignored, misinterpreted or, in some cases, censored. The result is the first exploration of the horse's hidden history, an alternative equestrian world populated by forgotten facts, overlooked evidence and astonishing stories. Amply illustrated, and containing a map of occurrences, this study challenges the reader to develop a new understanding of the horse, one based upon reason, not fantasy.


Now I'm not a horseologist — hell, the equine massage service that keeps advertising on telephone poles around my neighborhood makes me giggle uncontrollably — and I have no idea if this book contains only pictures of glowering stallions, but I really think Deadly Equines needs a movie treatment tout de suite.

Phrases like "an alternative equestrian world populated by forgotten facts," "Tibet's blood-eating horses," and "global equestrian amnesia" belong in lights on every odeon. Also, the publisher's choice to release this book on April 1 was really a poor business decision.


[Via Cryptomundo. Image via Neave's Flickr.]