Should I Have Drunk This? A Health Potion Live Review

Illustration for article titled Should I Have Drunk This? A Health Potion Live Review

I drank it. Should I have? Follow along, dear readers, as I document my descent into Health Potion hell.


0 minutes in: It tastes like cough syrup. Cold cough syrup, since I refrigerated it, but still, cough syrup.
1 minute in: I have a slight headache.
3 minutes in: Is it me or is this room getting brighter?
4 minutes in: Whoa, cool motion blur!
6 minutes in: I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna vomit.
8 minutes in: Also I'm pretty sure my joints didn't hurt a second ago.
9 minutes in: I don't feel any more like pwning noobs than I did before I drank it. Maybe that kicks in later.
10 minutes in: Reading. Is. Hard.
12 minutes in: Wow, Sarah Palin's boots are nice.
14 minutes in: Hahaha, the new intern's name is funny. Harry.
15 minutes in: A nap actually sounds nice right now.
16 minutes in: WHERE ARE THE NOOBS??!
18 minutes in: Whoa I am scared. Christian Bale is gonna come through the monitor and kick my ass.
20 minutes in: Holy shit Christian Bale ahhhh!!!!
22 minutes in: So this is what moving in slow motion feels like. Speaking of which, I used to have these attacks (I don't know if attacks is the right word, but, episodes) where everything would seem to move into slow motion for a few minutes, and then reset itself. That hasn't happened in at least 6 years, but yeah that was weird. This is kinda like that.
25 minutes in: Do mermaids have vaginas?
28 minutes in: Yeah, it's definitely doing something. That cough syrup taste refuses to leave my mouth, even after a glass of water.
29 minutes in: I don't think I got another +160 HP, like the site claims. My INT definitely took a hit though.
30 minutes in: It's definitely not worse than other energy drinks. The taste though, could definitely use some work.
35 minutes in: Still not dead.
37 minutes in: I'm definitely more fidgety.
40 minutes in: I guess it's working?
46 minutes in: Don't feel like I'm about to die, which is a common side effect of other energy drinks. +1 point for Health Potion.
50 minutes in: These things are a bit pricey for what little liquid they contain. So it's just for energy, not for thirst quenching. 2 for $15, 4 for $21, 6 for $29, 12 for $50, 24 for $93, 48 for $180, 96 for $350. Let's see you do math in your head when you've had one of these.
60 minutes in: I'm cold.

[Mana Potions]


Should you have drunk that?

Mebbe not if you were a French rat...

The French health committee canned the sale of Red Bull, partly because a study found that rats fed taurine exhibited bizarre behaviour. That behaviour, says Vanrullen, included: "anxiety, irritability, a high sensitivity to noise —sudden jumps in their cages— and most of all, self-mutilations."