Oh, you have medical problems and need a puff of the green stuff, but are worried your bong is failing you? Strap on the bong gas mask for size. Just don't think of My Bloody Valentine while doing so.
Bizarrely, it's being sold by Thanko (them of the multi USB-port hubs), so at least you can pick up a USB cooling necktie at the same tie. I can think of no more suitable product to use it with, expect for perhaps that giant gummy worm. It costs around $85 after the Japanese conversion. [Thanko via GearFuse]