Westworld, the hit HBO sci-fi western, and Jurassic Park, the source of all your favorite Jeff Goldblum GIFs, have one thing in common: They were both based on stories by Michael Crichton. And it turns out, that one thing makes a huge difference.

Pretty cool idea right!

Do you ever feel like you can't eat, drink, or enjoy anything because you're constantly worried about how it will impact your health? This video, inspired by Edward Gorey's Gashlycrumb Tinies, assures you with gleeful hyperbole that everything will kill you in the end.

We'd all like to think we're thoughtful, patient, and steadfast, especially in our ability to pay attention to things. We are completely and totally wrong, and this brilliant College Humor video is proof. Just try and watch this video without pausing, skipping ahead, or looking at something else — you'll see.

Timelapse videos showing the meticulous process of retouching the female body have opened people's eyes to our culture's sad manipulation of beauty. But when College Humor has a go, the reality is worse than we think.

We've all been there before. You're out at a bar with friends when—suddenly—you find yourself talking the man and/or woman of your dreams. You exchange numbers, and the next morning, after carefully crafting your first sober communication, you await his or her response with bated breath. Your phone vibrates. You look…

Your Google search history is probably littered with typos, questionable queries, embarrassing visits to malware-infected websites, porn, Facebook, porn, Facebook, basic math questions a 6-year-old would know, juvenile jokes and so forth. It's not a proud place to be. But what if in order to make all those searches…

In theory, social networks are supposed to make you feel closer to everybody. Oh, look! Jim is driving a tractor on Instagram. Wow, Sarah just invited me to her baby shower on Facebook. But the truth is, social networks do a really good job at making you feel left out too. Wait... why did my friends all check-in at…

Do you still have room in your heart for one more video making fun of Christian Bale's Batman voice? If so, watch this. Even if you don't, you might want to give it a try because it feature the greatest Penguin that never was: Patton Oswalt.

Created by illustrator H. Caldwell Tanner, this wonderful, mind-numbing visualization of the internet's very essence brings together more past and current memes than you probably ever knew existed.

When Nick Jr. star Diego seeks out his young cousin, the famed explorer Dora, he finds her in much the same way Indiana Jones found Marion Ravenwood in Raiders of the Lost Ark, only sucking down a juice box instead of shots. It's an auspicious beginning for their parody archaeological adventure, Dora the Explorer and…

If you use Tumblr or Facebook or Twitter or any site like that, you'd know that they're all complete time sucks. Hopping onto Tumblr is especially dangerous because of all the rabbit holes you can crawl into—food, tasteful nudes, fashion, tasteful nudes, animated gifs, tasteful nudes, virally reblogged reblogs and…

Sitting on the can without a smartphone—much like sitting at the bar without a smartphone—is soooo boring. What are you supposed to do with yourself? Be alone with your thoughts? Talk to the person on the toilet/stool next to you? Ugh.

We already explained just how worthless that Facebook copyright privacy status update gobbledygook is. But just in case you or one of your friends needs it spoken outloud to you because word-things are too hard, College Humor breaks it down for you in plain English.

Raising kids isn't easy, especially when those kids are malevolent alien offspring or vengeful spirits who inhabit your TV set. Fortunately, the perky educator of College Humor's Horror Movie Daycare is unfazed by children who demand the Necronomicon for story hour, and she's here to help with your little hellraisers.

Today, Apple introduced a bunch of new products: the iPhone 5, iTunes 11, a new iPod Touch and an iPod Nano. And they announce new products at every event! But what if one day they decided to just... stop? CollegeHumor imagines an Apple who's sick of making products and holds a press conference to release... nothing.

You know what happens when Google announces a new product. People freak out. People claim Google is changing the world. People praise its openness and don't be evil mantra and that the company is just SO good. And then you know what happens when that actual Google product comes out? No one cares. It doesn't change…