Tonight is the last episode of Heroes. Ever. I have nothing to drink but mint tea. I'm joined by two tea-drinking friends, and my cat Space, who is now out of her TV writing job. Will all the heroes die?
It's hard to argue with a Heroes episode that's about Peter and Sylar beating a giant brick wall for years on end. That's how we all feel, watching this show! I've drunk some scotch and I'm ready for recappage.
It's another night of watching Heroes and blogging at the same time. Can things get any worse than they were last week? No they can't - because I have reefer, port, and chocolate chip cookies. Also, lesbians!!!
In this slightly timeshifted liveblog, you may witness my instant impressions of Heroes' latest episode, Pass/Fail, as it unfolds. Think of it as a tragic record of brain melt occurring in real time! Without the aid of carnie powers!
Whenever Heroes is starting to flail around more than usual, psychic Angela Petrelli has another dream about yet another apocalypse. That's what happened last night, while Parkman riveted us with househusband drama and a carnie made out with a cylon.
Just when you thought Heroes might have a chance of getting good again, it comes back with an episode so bad that you'll yearn for the days when Hiro time-traveled to feudal Japan. Can't Sylar just die already?
Monday's episode of Heroes, "Thanksgiving," represented one of those rare moments when everything wrong with this show suddenly became right. It was a soapy tale of three intertwined, dysfunctional mutant family dinners - and it was old-fashioned freaky fun.
Last night's episode of Heroes explained a lot of important things, like how half-naked superpowered girls bond. Also, how to get back together with your wife after a mutant steals your body! Plus carnie fashion and dirt powers! Spoilers ahead.
On last night's episode of Heroes, "Shadowboxing," all our dreams of lesbianism were lost. To replace them, we got a scene where Parkman became a bratty top. Plus tons of carnie action. Spoilers ahead!
Cast your mind back, to the days on Heroes when Hiro was semi-badass and Sylar was actually scary. Those days were here again, briefly, on last night's time travelly episode. Plus, HRG is closer than ever to getting laid!
I knew Monday night's episode of Heroes was going to be good from the instant that the "story so far" clips showed Claire's lesbian kiss with hot roomie Gretchen, King Jeremy's dead parents, and Head Sylar going apeshit. Spoilers ahead!
If Heroes doesn't deliver lesbians, it delivers a roiling mass of carnies who throw knives and wear petticoats to dig ditches. That's what happened last night anyway, when we met the flannel-wearing, chest-hair-revealing cub version of Sylar. Spoilers ahead!
So last night's Heroes was a veritable smorgasbord of dirt. There were dirt powers, dirty sorority sisters, and dirty, dirty Nylar. Watch out for greasy mindwipe rainbow carnival hair - and spoilers!
Last night's episode of Heroes, called "Acceptance," served up a veritable smorgasbord of after-school special life lessons. Chief among them: Don't hump your boss; don't xerox your butt at work; and brainwashing never works. Spoilers ahead!
On last night's Heroes, called "Ink," everybody got violent and stabby for one of three reasons: 1. Lesbianism; 2. Daddy Issues; 3. Tattoos. Also, there were rainbow musical interludes. Spoilers ahead!
Last night's Heroes was a two-hour extravaganza introducing us to the season's new theme, "Redemption," as well as its sub-theme, which is Claire's sexual orientation. Plus a bunch of mutants from the carnival showed off their special tattoo powers.
Heroes' season finale slunk over the airwaves last night, bringing with it mindless platitudes from Suresh, the defeat of one enemy, and Sylar-related plotholes so gigantic they could fight Godzilla and win. Spoilers ahead!
Heroes was perking up last week, but this week there was a slow slide into the melodrama blahs - punctuated by completely random religious moments. Spoilers ahead.
Last week I polled you guys about whether I should keep punishing myself and the world by continuing to watch Heroes. And you voted for punishment. Which is exactly what the episode "Exposed" was.
If there's one thing that Heroes is good at, it's apparently not family drama if last night's episode is anything to go by. Daddy issues for cheerleaders and psychopaths abound, and spoilers await.