Postal Apocalypse

The Argument For and Against Kicking Werewolves in the Testicles

So it’s almost Halloween for you guys? Cool. I kind of remember Halloween. Here in post-apocalyptic America, you know what we call the day when people dress up in weird costumes and then track down happy, innocent families and demand some kind of “treat” by threatening them? We call it “every goddamn day of the…

io9 Rob Bricken Oct 30

What a Politically Correct Justice League Would Look Like

I’m delighted to discuss at length the four topics in today’s “Postal Apocalypse,” but I must say I’d be happy to answer any shorter questions you might have. I also wouldn’t mind answering sillier, dumber or dirtier queries. It seems forever since I’ve had to think about a fictional character’s genitals, and I miss it…

io9 Rob Bricken Oct 23

How to Win a Fight with a Superfan on the Internet

As a post-apocalyptic fake mailman, a lot of people ask me if I had a time machine, if I would bring a modern sports almanac to my past self so I could get rich. And I answer, “If I had a time machine, I’d go back in time to a point when toilets fucking worked.…

io9 Rob Bricken Oct 16

What killed the Golden Age of Cartoons?

Um, you guys realize it’s the government shutdown that leads directly to the mysterious apocalypse that destroys the U.S. and which I now currently wander around in delivering mail, right? I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but you should all start stocking up on underpants. Better than gold nowadays. Just sayin’. Toon It Up…

io9 Rob Bricken Oct 9

The Captain Marvel/Ms. Marvel/Shazam Clusterf*ck Explained

As a fake mailman living in the future, sometimes it’s funny to me what you people in 2013 freak out about. Ben Affleck as Batman? He actually ends up being okay. Not great, but definitely better than Kilmer or Clooney. But man, you guys are going to completely lose your shit in 20 years when…

io9 Rob Bricken Sep 4

A unified theory to explain the casting of every new Doctor Who

So, your friendly neighborhood post-apocalyptic fake mailman has been hanging out in this place called Bridge City, which I swear to god is run by Tom Petty. He won’t admit it, but he keeps singing “Free Fallin’” and it’s driving me goddamned crazy. If I don’t hear “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” soon I’m throwing him…

io9 Rob Bricken Aug 7

Who won Comic-Con, Superman/Batman or Avengers 2: Age of Ultron?

Are you sick of Comic-Con yet? I hope not, because the ol’ mailbag is full of questions regarding the events of this year’s nerd prom. Man of Steel 2! The new origin of Ultron! Why the people who get into Hall H are the chosen ones! If a fake mailman from the future can’t explain…

io9 Rob Bricken Jul 31

When is a flop truly a flop?

Greetings, fellow denizens of the post-apocalypse! The ol’ mailbag was full before people had recovered from Comic-Con, so I expect to have plenty of questions about what went down (hint hint). Meanwhile, let’s talk about Hollywood’s perception of failure, the greatest superhero football team of all time and why I want to cuddle with Arrow’s…

io9 Rob Bricken Jul 24

Why do we nitpick superhero movies so damn much?

It’s San Diego Comic Con week here in the post-apocalyptic future, too! Comic Con has changed a bit now that civilization has collapsed, in that there are no movies, TV shows, or even comics to promote. Weirdly, you still can’t get into Hall H without waiting in line for eight hours. Nitpick Picnic Joseph C.:…

io9 Rob Bricken Jul 17

Fear of a Black Superman?

I hate to say it, but the Postman is bringing the controversy in this week’s “Postal Apocalypse.” Do you dare to find out the answer to this sensitive question: Does Doctor Who suck? The New Black Leslie S.: Reading about the controversy about Game of Thrones casting an actor that does not exactly match some…

io9 Rob Bricken Jul 10

“Does DC Have a Chris Nolan Problem?”

Don’t worry, I’m not getting into another Man of Steel tirade in this week’s “Postal Apocalypse” — now I’m getting into a tirade about whether the entire DC universe is safe in Christopher Nolan’s hands. It’s marginally different! Plus Defiance, future sports, vampire cyborgs, and more! Nolan No More? Eric W.: Post-apocalyptic Postman Rob, After…

io9 Rob Bricken Jun 26

Here’s the Dream Team That Should Be Making the Dark Tower TV Show

A warning: Today’s “Postal Apocalypse” contains so much profanity. I’m sorry about that. Not sorry enough to, you know, take out all those curse words or anything, but I do apologize if it makes anyone uncomfortable. What has me riled up? Read the first letter and see… [MILD MAN OF STEEL SPOILERS] Leanne C.: Although…

io9 Rob Bricken Jun 19

Why the hell didn’t the Green Lanterns pick Superman?

So last night I had a dream where I was watching TV, and in the background there was a very subtle joke I didn’t notice. I know this because 45 minutes later, I had another dream where someone explained the joke to me. This is completely blowing my mind. Anyways, on with your mail! Star…

io9 Rob Bricken Jun 12

What will happen if Robert Downey Jr. stops being Iron Man?

I got a lot of mail this week about some wedding you guys went to? Apparently the bride wore red or something? Weird, but hey, it’s post-apocalyptic America, people can wear paisley for all I care. Anyways, the very last Q&A has mild spoilers for last week’s Game of Thrones, which you seriously need to…

io9 Rob Bricken Jun 5

What’s the greatest show to ever get canceled? (…besides Firefly)

Oh, it’s a doozy of a “Postal Apocalypse” this week! We’ve got the X-Men hurting themselves! Where the hell Sailor Moon went! Only one zombie question! And, because you demanded it — for some reason — I am going to exclusively reveal what each member of the Justice League is packing in their tights! Claw…

io9 Rob Bricken May 29

Could Spider-Man and Wolverine guest-star on Agents of SHIELD?

We’ve got a lot to get through in this week’s “Postal Apocalypse” — zombies, Agent Coulson, more zombies, Game of Thrones, and, of course, more superhero sex. So make sure you send your questions to [email protected], and let’s get started! THE DYING DEAD Flytrap: Hey Rob, A Question about The Walking Dead: Something about the…

io9 Rob Bricken May 22

How Star Wars proves children are morons

What’s the biggest scifi franchise of all time? How did Torchwood’s Captain Jack get stranded in the present? What doesn’t Batman know? All these questions answered and more on this week’s “Postal Apocalypse”! Hey — before we get started, I just want to clarify why I used Jake Lloyd’s picture to head up this week’s…

io9 Rob Bricken May 15

The many, many reasons you should still hate Walking Dead’s Lori

Welcome to this week’s “Postal Apocalypse!” As usual, we tackle the tough questions — questions like, “How much Doctor Who can I make my wife watch if I agree to read 50 Shades of Gray?” YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO GO WITHOUT THIS KNOWLEDGE. Please keep ’em coming — email them to [email protected]. Evening Shades Ken:…

io9 Rob Bricken Apr 24

A critical analysis of David Bowie’s crotch bulge in Labyrinth

Besides the subject mentioned in the headline, today’s “Postal Apocalypse” includes a historical look at butt-wiping technologies, how Cobra gets its funding in G.I. Joe, the worst Star Wars prequel quote, and more. It is possibly my favorite “PA” ever. Please, please keep those awesome questions comin’ to [email protected]. The Straight Poop Chris P.: Sometimes…

io9 Rob Bricken Apr 17

Is the Game of Thrones TV show finally going off the rails?

Ah, spring is finally here! And you know what that means for your friendly neighborhood post-apocalyptic fake mailman — no more trudging through the snow and sleet! Which means I can stop burning mail to stay warm! You know, between the letters I answer instead of delivering and the mail I’ve burned, it’s amazing I…

io9 Rob Bricken Apr 10

The Argument For and Against Kicking Werewolves in the Testicles

What a Politically Correct Justice League Would Look Like

How to Win a Fight with a Superfan on the Internet

What killed the Golden Age of Cartoons?

The Captain Marvel/Ms. Marvel/Shazam Clusterf*ck Explained

A unified theory to explain the casting of every new Doctor Who

Who won Comic-Con, Superman/Batman or Avengers 2: Age of Ultron?

When is a flop truly a flop?

Why do we nitpick superhero movies so damn much?

Fear of a Black Superman?

“Does DC Have a Chris Nolan Problem?”

Here’s the Dream Team That Should Be Making the Dark Tower TV Show

Why the hell didn’t the Green Lanterns pick Superman?

What will happen if Robert Downey Jr. stops being Iron Man?

What’s the greatest show to ever get canceled? (…besides Firefly)

Could Spider-Man and Wolverine guest-star on Agents of SHIELD?

How Star Wars proves children are morons

The many, many reasons you should still hate Walking Dead’s Lori

A critical analysis of David Bowie’s crotch bulge in Labyrinth

Is the Game of Thrones TV show finally going off the rails?

Trump’s World Liberty Financial Makes FTX-esque Move, Borrows Against Its Own Crypto Token

Steven Soderbergh Wanted to Take ‘Bond’ Back to the ’60s

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