Screenshot: Chris Record (YouTube)

If you were looking for another reason to hate crypto culture, then YouTube has a plethora of Bitcoin rap videos for you to peruse. Every single one of these blockchain anthems is just as bad as you can imagine, and often worse.

However, if you yourself want to become a cryptocurrency rapper, it will behoove you to learn these important elements of the genre.


1. You must say “blockchain” as frequently as possible.

2. Mention that you are in some type of “HODL” gang, team, or squad.

3. Remind listeners that you have a kinship with Satoshi Nakamoto.

4. Present your song as a “parody” to offer plausible deniability about your involvement in a terrible video.

5. Name drop, or feature, John McAfee whenever possible.

Good luck, and may Satoshi have mercy on your blockchain soul.

Former senior reporter at Gizmodo

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