The Future Is Here
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The Guild parties down as an OSI mission goes bad in Venture Bros.

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Holy shit. So that happened. And that, too. Tell you what: If you haven’t watched last night’s Venture Bros., and want to peruse this recap, or just look for the funny lines or something, don’t. Go watch the episode. I’m serious. Don’t screw this up.

It’s a sad day for the Guild of Calamitous Intent’s Council of 13 when they attend Boggles the Clue Clown’s funeral (possibly not coincidentally the single member Monstroso was able to name when interrogated by Brock a few episodes ago). Boggles gets one last riddle in — it’s not very difficult, but it does end with his corpse bursting out of his coffin like a Jack-in-the-box, to his nemesis Captain Sunshine’s sadness. As the funeral disperses, a cyborg villain named Vendata tells Red Mantle/Dragoon that the Sovereign has called a meeting to choose Boggles’ successor. The distraught Red Mantle yells that Vendata


This sets several things in motion. First, the OSI was monitoring the funeral, looking for villains who match the profiles that Monstroso gave them. The first they recognize is Vendata himself — who turns out to be a cyborg Jonas Sr. created in 1976, who tried to strangle Rusty in 1978, turned evil, and Jonas covered up. Also, following Red Mantle’s “advice,” Vendata posts a personal ad looking for a robot friend (on Guildslist, of course), and the OSI have their in. They disguise Ghost Robot (a member of the Super Gang) as an evil robot named Galacticon, and send him on the date to see if he can get any information on the other Council members.

Meanwhile, the other Council members welcome Boggles replacement, and suggest taking the new guy out. The angry Sovereign forbids this, what with the anonymity and all, and closes the meeting… that everyone almost immediately returns to, since 1) they know the new guy is Phineas Pahe by the weird shape of his head, 2) it turns out those separate rooms they televise themselves in from are not only in the same building, but also open to the exact same foyer, and 3) they want to party. They decide to head to Council member Don Hell’s supervillain nightclub, all carppoling in Steppenwulf’s ridiculous Munsters/Wacky Races car.


“Galacticon” and Vendata soon realize that meeting at a Chinese restaurant may have been a poor idea as Galacticon doesn’t eat and Vendata can only eat a special enzyme paste, so they too head to the nightclub. But when they take the underground elevator, the OSI loses their signal — and their civilian contractor is suddenly alone with countless supervillains.

Brock does the only thing he can — he heads to the Venture compound to grab some of the old costumes left by fleeing (or deceased) supervillains after they attacked the compound; he picks Yeti Mummy, while Shoreleave dubs himself The Fruit Bat and several others. Tbhis is whgen Sgt. Hatred discovers the intruders… and Shore Leave tases him in the tits. And that’s when Dr. Venture discovers them, ignoring his fallen bodyguard and demanding to know where the costume party is. Brock makes a not entirely convincing excuse and drives off, infiltrating Don Hell’s.

This is Doc’s cue to grab Billy Quizboy, but on two very lame costumes, and try to enter the club — which they succeed in, mostly because the bouncer immediately recognizes Dr. Venture. Upon arrival, they are immediately captured and tied to a wheel of misfortune.

Vendata sees his Council chums and goes over to say hi. Brock, disguised at Yeti Mummy, finds Ghost Robot just as he sees the real Galacticon arrive. He hurries G.R. into the bathroom, to the laughter of the Council members, who think Vendata’s pal has abandoned him for a quickie. Vendata heads into the bathroom to confront them, only to get destroyed by Brock. Brock puts Ghost Robot in the Yeti Mummy costume, he puts on Vendata’s outfit and helmet, and the leave just as Don Hell reveals Doc Venture on the wheel, and spins it.


Thanks to a raffle, where the wheel spins determined how Doc Venture will die and who will kill him. After failing to talk Brock out of abandoning his former Boss, Shoreleave I forced to climb to the rafters, and starts to solder through the metal rod holding the club’s enormous disco ball in hopes of creating a distraction big enough for Brock to free Doc and escape. Unfortunately, it’s taking too long, and Evil FDR(?) wins the chance to dunk Doc in an acid bath — until Brock punches FDR in the throat and grabs his ticket.

As he slowly approaches the stage, with no idea of what to do, to “claim his prize,” in walks The Monarch and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch, and the are pissed. No one can killeThe Monarch’s archnemesis without checking with him first and (after a clarification from Phineas Page, who of course had been recently studying up on the Guild by-laws, about team-ups, and then further clarification from Dr. Mrs. Who points out that the archnemesis still gets final say ) they’re forced to let Dr. Venture go.


Brock is thoroughly relieved, knowing that the Monarch has never will never manage to hit Doc, and leaves with Shoreleave, Ghost Robot, and the rest of the villains.

And then the giant disco ball falls on Doc.

I assume he’s crushed to death. Visually, that’s what it looks like; If there’s a dues ex machina here where Doc is fine next episode, it was not revealed tonight. Furthermore, I think we can all admit that 1) Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick are crazy enough and committed to constantly changing the status quo that I could actually see them killing Doc.


Now, I’d be shocked — shocked if he didn’t come back to life at some point, or somehow; the show has plenty of ways (including clones; whose to say Jonas Sr. didn’t do the same for little Rusty that Doc did for Hank and Dean?) to bring him back. But here’s the thing — next week is the fifth season finale, and I could actually envision a Doc-less six season. Can you imagine how that would affect Dean and Hank? Or the Monarch? I feel like that’s exactly the sort of major character development Hammer and Publick like to examine, and with Dean feeling to trapped by his family and his life, there are some major issue to explore.

Look, that’s all subjecture, but one thing I am confident of is that whether Doc is fine next week or next, Venture Bros. will be fine. The fifth season hasn’t just been great, it’s been exquisite — so wonderfully plotted and intricately built that it totally justifies the three-year wait after season 4. Hey, I’ll be sad if it takes another three years before we get to watch the season 6 premiere, but man, if they’re going to be this good, I honestly can’t complain.


Of course, Rusty dying is hardly the last development. The Sovereign offers Dr. Mrs. The Monarch Vendata’s place on the Council of 13, which should proof interesting for the Monarchs — I’ve never seen The Monarch as necessarily resentful of his wife’s success, plus, he’s never really cared much about what the Guild wants unless it serves his purpose — but it will definitely bring some changes.

Oh, and then the Revenge Society — Phantom Limb, Professor Impossible and the rest of the Revenge Society are somehow monitoring her… along with Henry Killinger.


Gonna be a hell of a finale next week.


Assorted Musings:

• So much Council of 13 info! The Venture Wikis should be busy for the next few days.


• Anyone who didn’t hear Kevin Conroy as Captain Sunshine weeping over the coffin of Boggles the Clue Clown and didn’t imagine Batman weeping over the Joker is lying, even to themselves.

• Augustus not getting into the night club? Princess. Augustus finally getting in at closing time just as everybody’s leaving? Priceless-er.


• Is the Yeti Mummy a costume or did Brock skin him?

• Billy Quizboy’s puppet routine was as brilliant as it was disturbing.

• As Vendata goes offline, he cries something about his wife and a plane, indicating (along with his human face and robot head) that he was Robocopped by Jonas Sr., because Jonas Sr. is still the biggest asshole in the Venture Bros. universe.


• So… do you think the Revenge Society was just monitoring The Monarchs, or do they have something planned? I would assume they have something planned, given that they’re the Revenge Society and all, but they did seem to simply be having TV time.



SUPER-SPOILINGEST THING EVER: Seriously, this is going to blow your mind, and it’s got to be true (although Doc and Jackson could change their mind). Remember how earlier this season The Monarch found that picture of him and Rusty playing as kids together? And his parents were there in the picture and also Jonas Venture? And remember how in the very first episode “Dia de los Dangeous!” we learn The Monarch became The Monarch when he was in a plane crash that killed both his parents and left him to be raised by monarch butterflies? And remember how in last night’s episode they said Jonas created Vendata in 1976? And Vendata’s last words before going off line are “Where is my wife. I think the plane is going down.” HOLY FUCKING SHIT.