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The Old Republic's Size Worship Reinforces Teenage Traumas

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Besides giving everyone in our world a chance to join the Star Wars universe, we're excited to see that upcoming MMO The OId Republic will finally give phallically-minded geeks confirmation of something that they've always suspected: That the bigger your weapon is, the better that makes you.It's not just size that's important, of course, but how awesome your lightsaber will be in the game is just one way that Old Republic players will be boast about their experience and length of time they've been playing. As lead designer Jeff Dobson explains,

It's very important for us to show the [mindset of] 'I've been playing this game for 70 hours, so I should look cooler than that guy. We don't want you to look like junk when you start, but we want you to look awesome after you've been playing for awhile.

And part of that...? The size of your lightsaber. Promising that sabers will be customizable throughout the game, Dobson said that even though lightsabers (and all weapons in the game, in fact) will start out oversized for visual impact, they'll still be able to grow as you get more experience. "How can we show that my lightsaber is cooler than yours because I've been playing for three months?" he asked, before promising that the lightsaber you start the game with will definitely not be the one you'll have at the end. Which, when you take the phallic metaphor to its logical conclusion suddenly gets a little bit disturbing. [Star Wars: The Old Republic]