This 26 Pound 36,000 Calorie Gummy Python Will Probably Still Kill You

Ironically, dying at the hands of a real python would probably be less agonizing than the prolonged torture of consuming this eight foot long, 26 pound, 36,720 calorie gummy snake. You can grab one in Blue Raspberry/Green Apple or Red Cherry/Blue Raspberry for $150; just make sure your last will and testament is complete before ordering.

[Vat19 via The Green Head]