This 26 Pound 36,000 Calorie Gummy Python Will Probably Still Kill You

Illustration for article titled This 26 Pound 36,000 Calorie Gummy Python Will Probably Still Kill You

Ironically, dying at the hands of a real python would probably be less agonizing than the prolonged torture of consuming this eight foot long, 26 pound, 36,720 calorie gummy snake. You can grab one in Blue Raspberry/Green Apple or Red Cherry/Blue Raspberry for $150; just make sure your last will and testament is complete before ordering.

Illustration for article titled This 26 Pound 36,000 Calorie Gummy Python Will Probably Still Kill You

[Vat19 via The Green Head]

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jeffchabotte
Jeff Chabotte

Where's the Gummy Venus De Milo?