Here are some thoughts I had while watching a video of two tortoises banging.
1) Is this actually a video of two tortoises banging? I only see one tortoise.
2) Who is filming this, and how can I meet them?
3) Wow, it really sounds like he’s saying “wow.”
4) Why does this video not carry a warning in its title? There are children on the internet.
5) Who runs ViralHog, and how can I meet them?
6) Oh, there’s the other tortoise.
7) The caption says the following: “It lasted a few minutes and eventually the turtle on top had been pushed by a third one and been placed on its back.” Why did the person stop filming before the overeager third tortoise showed up?
8) I wonder what a tortoise would think of human coitus.
Now I am stuck in a strange Youtube hole which I would very much like to escape. Please, someone help me.