Click to viewAfter the appalling tragedy in Salt Lake City earlier this week where an 18-year-old gunman began indiscriminately shooting people to death, our thoughts drifted toward arming ourselves to the teeth. The off-duty (and armed) cop on the scene saved countless lives, keeping the gunman pinned down until backup arrived. Maybe more citizens needed to be carrying guns on that fateful day.

I have been in an unfortunate situation where gunfire erupted and a person was killed right in front of me, and four others were shot. Short of somehow knowing what was going to happen and calling for peace before the shooting started, I wish I had been armed with the deadliest gadget of all, a BFG that might have been able to change the outcome of the melee.


In self-defense, if faced with a him-or-me scenario, some serious firepower could be life-saving. Gun porn coming, not for the squeamish. If I just woulda coulda shoulda had a...

Taser C2

First off, we'd rather not kill anyone at all, so why not just incapacitate them momentarily with a Taser C2? This one might be good for the fashion-conscious—it's available in a handbag-matching metallic pink or electric blue, plus the basic black or titanium colors that go with just about anything.


Beretta 92FS Semiautomatic Pistol

This full-sized Beretta 92FS semiautomatic pistol is good for lefties or righties, has a triple safety, and packs the serious firepower you might need in a tight situation.


Uzi Submachine Gun

The Uzi is a submachine gun created by Israeli designer Uziel Gal. It can fire 9mm rounds at 600 rounds per minute, and its magazine holds 25 or 32 rounds. The United States Secret Service carries weapons similar to this, hidden under their sportcoats.



This ferocious beast is an experimental weapon that looks more like the Starship Enterprise than a gun, but it spits out 120,000 rounds per minute of .50 caliber round metal balls at 8000 fps. Too big to conceal, you'd have to mount this one a truck.


Walther PPK

If you like your firearms shaken but not stirred, the Walther PPK might be your piece of choice, the same one that James Bond used. It's got .380 caliber firepower but its 20-ounce weight and 6.1-inch size makes it portable, too.

Thompson Submachine Gun

Here's an old favorite of the gangstas of the 30s, and it fires 230-grain .45 caliber Colt automatic pistol bullets. It's the one used in the Valentine's Day massacre.


Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44-caliber Revolver

Any invasive miscreant will have to stand up to his deepest fears when facing Dirty Harry's ballbusting handgun. If you're looking down the barrel of the Model 29, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?


Smith & Wesson Model 500 Revolver

This 5-shot hand cannon delivers the highest-powered commercial round in the world. The .500 Smith & Wesson Magnum's slug weighs just over an ounce and develops over 2,600 foot-pounds of muzzle energy. The Model 500 is the biggest and heaviest factory-produced double-action revolver on the planet. Get out of the way, bad guys.

Beretta Xtrema2 Recoiless Shotgun

Fill up this gas-operated bad boy with 3.5-inch magnum loads, and it still won't kick. One of the most dangerous objects you can hold in your hands besides a running chainsaw.


Maadi-Griffin .50 BMG handgun

You can't really legally obtain these guns anywhere, but its rounds are even bigger than that of the Smith & Wesson Model 500 mentioned earlier. It fires slugs that are akin to those used in 20mm antitank cannons in World War I. This monster could literally stop an elephant in its tracks.



This is a variant of the standard Uzi, but it's more easily concealed because it's the size of a pistol and weighs just over 3 pounds. It fires an impressive 1250 rounds per minute, but its range is only about 90 feet. Plus, because of its small size, its magazine only holds 20 rounds. Better be a quick reloader.

Rail Gun

Finally, this one looks like something fresh out of a video game, but it's a rail gun that can make you feel like you've been hit by a Ford Taurus at 380 mph. Demonstrated by the U.S. Navy last month, this monster propels a 7-pound projectile up to 250 nautical miles using electric current. It's a really big BFG, though—you'd need to mount it on a really big truck.


Seriously, the idea of everyone being armed is more fearsome than any of these weapons, but then in a specific situation where one lunatic is about to kill a lot of innocent people, we're just sayin', would you rather have a gun, or not?