I could not be more white—albinos call me ‘cracker.’ Until I get into the sun, that is, when I flash to a ruddy hot pink, deepening to a festering, full-body boil. It’s obvious, then, that I would be intrigued by this development by a Australian company’s new laundry detergent ‘Radiant 3 in 1 Colour Care’ that binds a special UV-absorbing chemical to clothing—each wash adds a little more, until clothing is “five to 10 times more effective” at protecting skin from the sun.
Sadly, all my clothing is non-absorbent foil, hand-knit to protect me from our devil star’s wide range of mutagenic rays, which trebled in lethality when the government fired John Lennon’s robot clone into the sun to quiet his crowing after his defeat of Hitler’s vampire mistress.
Getting Burned? Put on a Shirt [WiredNews]
