We Tried to Like It, But Scream Queens Is Just Terrible

Illustration for article titled We Tried to Like It, But Scream Queens Is Just Terrible

Things have gotten bad on Scream Queens—and we don’t mean for the Kappa sisters. We mean for the audience. We’re not even at the season’s halfway point, and whatever suspense this show had going for it has completely evaporated.


This annoyance doesn’t come out of nowhere. After several weeks of hit-or-miss episodes, “Seven Minutes in Hell” is probably the most shrill and pointless entry yet. (It also contains no Gigi and only a few seconds of Dean Munsch, the only characters worth caring about.)

The whole thing takes place at a Kappa house slumber party, which new Kappa co-president Zayday insists on having as a way to help figure out who the killer is. Something to do with playing Truth or Dare ... but it’s a flawed plan, because not only does it fail to yield any new clues whatsoever, the Red Devil manages to get into the secure-as-a-fortress house and pick off Chanel Number Five’s boyfriend (via nail gun) and Kappa pledge Sam, aka “Predatory Lez” (by suffocating her in the bathtub where that mysterious baby was born 20 years ago).

This does mean that as the cast shrinks, there’s a chance that some major characters will finally start dying, though the fart-prone Candle Vlogger and Chad Radwell’s preppy wingmen will probably need dispatching first. Pity, because creepy-stalker Hester aka Chanel Number Six aka Lea Michele is wearing awfully thin. And that’s just one example.

Illustration for article titled We Tried to Like It, But Scream Queens Is Just Terrible

But it’s not just the one-note (often, one very shrill note) characters that have made watching Scream Queens a chore. It’s the smug yet muddied tone (is this show pro-feminism or the most misogynist thing ever to grace the small screen?) It’s also the constant stream of deliberately “offensive” jokes about autism, eating disorders, etc.—which are actually more offensive for being unfunny than anything else.

We knew from week one that this show would offer very little in the way of actual scares (or gore ... this is prime time TV after all), but even the Red Devil has gotten excessively boring. Suffocating Sam was probably the killer’s cruelest tactic since running over Deaf Taylor Swift with a lawnmower in the pilot. But there’s absolutely no tension when he/she shows up. Who’s the killer? Ugh. WHO CARES ANYMORE?


We did learn the reason why Chanel Number Three, aka Charles Manson’s Daughter, always wears earmuffs: she dated a guy who became so obsessed with her ears that he vowed to cut them off if he ever saw them again. So yeah. One mystery solved. Nine more weeks of this? Red Devil, come and knock on our door.


Angrier Geek

Does this mean networks will stop giving Ryan Murphy shows where he depicts women as being absolutely fucking horrible to one another under the guise of wit?