In news that will surprise absolutely no one at all, Apple has posted a lengthy list of qualities that will keep your software out their new app store. Check below for the most interesting (and the strangest) prohibitions.
Some of the banned qualities are obvious (and welcome), such as "apps that crash," and "apps that exhibit bugs"—they want the stuff to work, after all.
But some of these rules are more of the same top-down moralizing we've seen applied to iOS apps—and others are just bizarre:
• Apps that are not very useful or do not provide any lasting entertainment value may be rejected
Really? This seems awfully vague, and my definition of "use" and "lasting entertainment value" may not jibe at all with Apple's. This rule would also block a hell of a lot of the current iOS apps.
• Apps that encourage users to use an Apple product in a way that may cause damage to thedevice will be rejected
What could this possibly mean? An app that tempts you to use your MacBook as a lightning rod? As a blender?
• "Enemies" within the context of a game cannot solely target a specific race, culture, a real government or corporation, or any other real entity
This eliminates the entire awesome "Killing Nazis" subgenre.
• Apps that include games of Russian roulette will be rejected
The fact that this had to be specifically banned makes me think there is a fascinating article out there waiting to be written. Again, what the hell?
• Apps that present excessively objectionable or crude content will be rejected
This is another eyebrow-raising one. "Excessive" is defined solely by Apple—if it offends them, it doesn't matter if it offends you.
• Apps that are designed for use as illegal gambling aids will be rejected
Again—so niche! We're surprised this would be pervasive enough to be singled out. And what casino would allow you to bring your MacBook up to the blackjack table in the first place without immediately telling you to get the hell out?
The list concludes with a statement that the guidelines are a "living document" that will presumably expand as time goes on (and as developers find new, strange things to offend Apple with). Luckily, those of us that want to take down the world's most clueless gambling establishments will still be free to procure out software outside of the Mac App Store.