Why Can't Wonder Woman Toys Get Her Most Important Accessory Right?

Illustration for article titled Why Can't Wonder Woman Toys Get Her Most Important Accessory Right?

You can't buy a Captain America action figure without his patriotic shield. Most Batman toys come with batarangs or at least some alternate bat-branded weaponry. So why is it nearly impossible to find a Wonder Woman action figure that comes with her iconic golden Lasso of Truth?


Actually, many Wonder Woman toys include a Lasso of Truth. It's just that they're terrible. They come in two distinct varieties of disappointment: 1) A solid plastic coil plugged into her hips to make leg articulation awkward, or 2) a loose coil of the chintziest gold craft thread (not the thicker elasticy kind that would at least amuse your cat) that will immediately fray apart as soon as you touch it. What both types have in common is neither are fun accessories.

A good Lasso of Truth accessory needs to be able to be held by a Wonder Woman action figure and to encircle other action figures. It's that simple, which is why I'm perplexed it isn't standard issue. It could be molded in the same flexible rubber that Catwoman's whips (the prime exception being the Dark Knight Rises version where it was inexplicably decided that literal stiletto heels would be less campy than a bullwhip) tend to be. Or it could made from stiffer plastic with an adjustable clip on the end to help swing action figures of various sizes through the air (similar to the only Conduit figure that will ever be made).

If toy companies want to get fancy, they could make one with a bendy wire running through it so you get the best of both worlds. One cast in translucent yellow rubber to simulate its divine powers activating would be nifty too. Outfitting new toys with different kinds of functional Lassos (hint hint, upcoming Wonder Woman movie toyline!) would be a plus since her costume doesn't lend itself as easily to toyetic variants as Batman's. So far the best version of the Lasso of Truth is the one that comes with the Fisher Price Imaginext Wonder Woman. Sadly it's also the only version of the character with hands molded to hold it. It's literally a selling point!

What makes the absence of decent Lassos even more confounding that Mattel and DC Collectibles have outfitted many of their Wonder Woman figures with swords, shields, spears, and axes. At first glance this sounds like an economical approach to tooling new pieces since generic weapons could be reused for other characters. This theory collapses when you notice that these weapons are sculpted with Amazonian motifs and have (to my recollection ) not been recycled for other toys. While Wonder Woman is skilled at fighting with a variety of weapons, it's absurd to have her prioritize those weapons over her more versatile lariat. Wouldn't it be a better investment to scrap these more conventional weapons in favor of giving her a Lasso of Truth she can wield? Toys of Wonder Girl (both Donna and Cassie used similar but less powerful magic lassos) could also use use the same lasso accessory molded in a different color.

This is a big deal because the Lasso of Truth is Wonder Woman primary weapon as well as one of the most powerful magical artifacts around. It was forged from Gaea's girdle in Hestia's fires by Hephaestus so it's imbued with top tier Olympian magic. It's nigh-unbreakable and seems to unfurl as long as Wonder Woman requires. Just touching it compels the the utmost truth to be spoken, and in some cases she can even use it overpower other's minds. (I'm hoping her role in BVSDOJ is using the Lasso to make Superman and Batman talk through their issues like civilized adults and save us all from yet another epic slugfest where Batman wins by virtue of being The Awesomest Human Ever). It can end conflicts harmlessly or lethally at her discretion. The Lasso of Truth is the ideal weapon to reflect the premiere superheroine. Neither it nor she should be treated like an afterthought.


Timothy Burks

Wow. Such hands.