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Movies

Zontar! You’re Slimy! Use Your Intellect on Me!

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A crazy lady points her gun at a hulking thing and delivers a screaming speech right into the camera. Is it a Sam Fuller movie or a Fredric Hobbs movie? Can’t decide? That’s because it’s the amazing Zontar: The Thing from Venus! All you need to know to understand this thrilling confrontation between lady and lump is that Zontar came from space and has been mind-controlling people into doing things like beating their wives and killing people. But now our hero has found him deep underground and is showing him who’s boss. Everything about this scene makes my heart soar: the strange, porno-esque music as she winds her way underground, her kicky 1960s red shirt, and the sorry ragtag monster who looks different from shot to shot. In the immortal words of Courtney Love, this movie fakes it so real that it’s beyond fake.

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