CES is filled with thousands of gadgets and lots of people to talk to. But most of these “new” products are really just moderate updates. So in case you missed the goodies in the wave of CES news, here’s just our favorite stuff after the jump. Yes, lazy people—life takes care of you again!
Biggest TV:
We love it because: It makes us feel small.
Trouble is: You have to build your house around this TV.
https://gizmodo.com/holy-crap-first-150-inch-plasma-photos-341633
Almost Big Enough:
We Love it because: OLED is the future, it’s thinner, faster, deeper.
Trouble is: These prototypes are years away from being affordable.
https://gizmodo.com/samsungs-31-inch-oled-is-biggest-thinnest-yet-342912
Best Media Player:
We Love it because: We thought they were all concepts, but they’re
not. They’re just incredible.
https://gizmodo.com/super-cute-iriver-wing-umpc-is-also-super-tiny-342530
Best TV Tech:
Tie: 9mm Plasma the Blackest and Mitsubishi’s Laser TV because it uses
lasers.
We love it because: Pioneer’s plasmas literally eat light. Lasers, cool.
Trouble is: Are we going to have to replace our plasma every year?
https://gizmodo.com/battlemodo-pioneer-super-black-kuro-concept-duels-best-341434
Coolest Geek:
Bill Gates Playing With Dolls Like in Spaceballs and on Windows Sucking
We love him because: Without him we wouldn’t be here.
Trouble is: He’s retiring! And when we asked him to play racquetball, Gates said he’d be washing his hair…for the next 30 years.
https://gizmodo.com/complete-uncut-gizmodo-bill-gates-interview-343864
Making the Format War Irrelevant:
We love it because: It makes the format war go away.
Trouble is: The format war may already be irrelevant. Best for those already entrenched in HD DVD
https://gizmodo.com/samsung-bp-u5500-599-hybrid-blu-and-hd-dvd-dual-playe-341077
Best Ambush:
Blu-ray Winning the War by getting Warner to announce a change to Blu Jan 4th.
We love it because: Sony plays a good game of chess.
Trouble is: We prefer HD-DVD!
https://gizmodo.com/confirmed-warner-going-100-blu-ray-is-this-hd-dvds-d-340809
Nameless Women We Love:
We love them because: Women should not be on display like TVs at this
show.
Trouble is: We can’t stare at them without feeling a little guilty.
https://gizmodo.com/giz-salutes-the-non-booth-babe-babes-of-ces-341264
Most Deceptively Dangerous Gadget:
Leopard Skin Taser with built in MP3 player
We love it because: It’s the Frankenstein of gadgets.
Trouble is: We want to run it out of town with pitchforks and torches.
https://gizmodo.com/taser-gun-mp3-player-leopard-skin-one-insane-gadg-341692
Best Ghetto Fabulous TV:
Vizio HDTV with Silicon Optix Reon inside
We love it because: A budget company went for some high end video scaling gear.
Trouble is: Can the rest of the set keep up with the Silicon Optix?
Reon chip?
https://gizmodo.com/high-end-budget-hdtv-vizio-vp605f-vp504f-1080p-plasma-341225
Best Follow Up to Steve Jobs’ Favorite Cameras:
Camcorders Panasonic HDC-SD9
We love it because: Tiny, 1080p, under $1000.
Trouble is: Sony+Canon=competition.
https://gizmodo.com/hands-on-the-panasonic-hdc-sd9-camcorder-cramming-1080-341261
Best Propaganda:
Low blow, Microsoft (which means it was perfect).
https://gizmodo.com/microsofts-brainwashing-childrens-book-mommy-where-do-342499
Sweetest Laptop
We love it because: The only thing wrong with our Eee is the screen size.
Trouble is: Like Viagra bottles tell us, erections lasting over 8 hours require doctor consultations.
https://gizmodo.com/wimax-enabled-asus-eee-pc-confirmed-341879
Best Insulting Robot
War with robots? It’s freakin’ on! You’d better grow some lasers fast before we kick your…
https://gizmodo.com/know-it-all-mr-robot-clock-is-gizs-newest-commenter-342972
Best UMPC
Aigo Silverthorne-based system
We love it because: Intel Silverthorne chipset makes it tiny.
Trouble is: The early version we saw needs some polish.
https://gizmodo.com/intel-silverthorne-umpcs-are-dreamy-goodness-341401
Hottest Peripheral
We love it because: Minimalist design is played out.
Trouble is: Boomboxes are too big for today’s weak geeks to tote anywhere.
https://gizmodo.com/legendary-lasonic-i931-ipod-dock-ghetto-blaster-pics-341871
Most Pants-Worthy Phone
We love it because: It has a sexy, thin design that takes a chance.
Trouble is: CES was absolute crap for phones.
https://gizmodo.com/hands-on-sony-ericsson-w350-like-a-japanese-art-phone-341743
Best Couch Masturbation Enabler:
We love it because: “Quick draws” are rewarded with cheap viewing.
Trouble is: It’s not disguised as a PS3 or something else that our kids/wives will never touch.
https://gizmodo.com/hands-on-with-fyretv-the-best-porn-in-the-living-room-343506
Biggest Surprise:
We loved it because: We considered the hype met. OLED keys make our geek hearts palpitate.
Trouble is: People whining about the price—like a Ferrari, just because we can’t afford it doesn’t mean we don’t want one.
https://gizmodo.com/hands-on-with-optimus-maximus-keyboard-341896
And that’s CES my friends!
Writing by Brian Lam and Mark Wilson.
